What is a 'Marriage'?

On days like today, I find myself wondering what is an actual marriage and why do people actually strive for the legal aspect of being a couple? From keen observation is seems a marriage in our culture encompasses the following:

• A legal commitment between two people.
• A relationship which requires substantial resources to separate from.
• A serious relationship which deteriorates over time.
• An institution which has a 50% failure rate for 1st time and 66%-75% (depending on statistics) for 2nd marriages.
• A place where bounds of trust are tested.
• A place of self discovery.
• Deemed as THE acceptable relationship in which sexual relationships SHOULD occur and children SHOULD be conceived.
• Decrease in sexual activity with spouse over time.
• Decrease in all aspects which once attracted partners to one another.
• Increase in annoyance with specific aspects of partner.
• Decrease in romantic activities and gestures.
• A way out for some, a trap for others.
• A union which increases financial stability and resources for both involved.

As one might tell, I am feeling quite pessimistic towards the overall institution of marriage today. I am really beginning to question why I am even married. Relationships carry so many expectations which often destroy the very union they were intended to protect; relationships complicate once great friendships and can even destroy them.

Part of my problem arises from sexual deprivation. I haven't made love to my spouse in over two weeks now, which seems as if it is becoming the norm. When we first married 3.5 years ago it was more like 4-5 times a week. I am not ok with the current situation and have made it clear to my spouse that if he doesn't please me I may look elsewhere. Obviously he doesn't care, as he proceeds to fall asleep on the couch before 9pm every night...it was 6:30 today! Great...that gives us a whopping 1 hour together, which we spend in separate rooms, ususally. How can a relationship be maintained by 5 hours together a week and no communication in between? I am so depressed my relationship has diminished to almost nothing.

I open my eyes I try to see but I'm blinded by the white light I can't remember how I can't remember why I'm lying here tonight

And I can't stand the pain And I can't make it go away No I can't stand the pain

How could this happen to me I've made my mistakes Got no where to run The night goes on As I'm fading away I'm sick of this life I just wanna scream How could this happen to me

Everybody's screaming I try to make a sound but no one hears me I'm slipping off the edge I'm hanging by a thread I wanna start this over again

So I try to hold onto a time when nothing mattered And I can't explain what happened And I can't erase the things that I've done No I can't

Simple Plan ~ Untitled