Miss (L)ed

I still miss J so much! I still think about him all the time and still wonder what it could have been like if we received another chance. I wish I could leave the hell I am living in to find out, but fear the repercussions of my actions. I feel like I am doomed to live a life of misery. I hate my life, and don't even know why it is worth living. I feel like I am continually wandering blindfolded though life, only walking the opposite direction of the happiness I seek closer to the depths of despair. I don't feel like I have anything to look forward to in this life. I wonder if I will ever find contentment. Anytime I think something may make me happy, I only feel more miserable when I obtain it. I can't find contentment within myself and wish I knew how. I know I can't expect others or things to bring me happiness.

Comments

Anonymous said…
stop thinking about whoos me and think about what you can and will have once you stop thinking about you,you might not be happy now but if you just stop pidding yourself you will see happiness is right in front of you i know ive been there and been back believe me think about where you can go and dont stop till you get there.
8/28/2005 1:45 PM
Searching for the Answers... said…
You make a great point! I know I dwell on the past but am slowly makiing progress forward. I don't think many people can truly understand the feelings I have. I wonder if I am bipolar sometimes because I feel so hopless and then happy the next day. I wish I knew the road to happiness but must take one day at a time.
9/05/2005 8:35 PM
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