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Showing posts from October, 2007

The Root

I've been wanting to address this issue for several months. My mom mentioned a few months ago that our decisions in life stem from value judgements. Value judgements result as one experiences life, then makes a decision about how life will be lead according to the positive or negative experience. Value judgements mold the essence of our being and provide a small window into our soul. For example, as a result of growing up in an alcoholic home, I decided I would never let alcohol hurt my family. I didn't drink at all until I was at least 21, and only became intoxicated a few times. I quickly realized a negative habit forming when I craved alcohol to cover up my emotions, so I no longer drink at all. My dad also had an affair that I had to tell my mom about. I resented him for being so selfish and subconsciously swore I would never be with or tolerate a cheater. To my dismay, I married one and essentially became one myself. Thus, my judgement may explain my torment in my decisi

Hope

What a difference a week can make! On Monday I started drinking 3 cups of a specialized Chinese herbal formula. I noticed an immediate difference. For the first time in three months I had energy and didn't crash in the afternoon. The same effects have continued thought the week and I'm even experiencing fewer hot flashes. The only problem is that the formula makes me gag, but it is a small price for the awesome effects. During my Thursday acupuncture treatment my acupuncturist asked if I experience difficulty with decision making. I thought about it, and completely agreed. Prior to her blunt question, I never viewed myself as indecisive. She said it can be cause by an issue with the gall bladder and liver. Supposedly she treated both during my session, so I will see if I feel more decisive. Earlier this week I could not decide if I wanted to take my final injection or not. Once I thought I made up my mind to get the injection, my acupuncturist called and told me she found seve

Prescription: Take 1 Day at a Time

The last week has been a blur, complicated by incessant migraines and fatigue. I feel as if I'm literally loosing my mind. I can't remember the events of one day from the next. In the last 1.5 months I've made two mistakes paying my bills, resulting in extra charges and likely decreases in my credit score. I swear I completed the bill payments correctly, yet have nothing to prove otherwise. I've NEVER screwed up my bills before and have twice in 1.5 months? It just doesn't equate? I also have a huge list of things to take care of. I make several calls per week, yet still can't get any of them resolved. I ask G to make the calls and he forgets or doesn't have time. When he does make a call it seems he can reach resolution in a few minutes, when it takes me weeks or months. I hate that I must ask for help because I'm used to taking care of myself, the dogs, working and going to school full time, and our entire household. For some reason I can't even m