Tire saga Continued...
Tire issues continued...
Yesterday I found out I would have to wait 3.5 hours for my tires to get changed, plus a 1.5 hour commute, so I decided to wait until today to go to the tire shop. I went to the gym yesterday and fumed about G's treatment and realized he was making any and all attempts to manipulate and belittle me as he did when we first wed. To his dismay, I did not buy into his scheming tactics. I was so furious I couldn't even talk to him. He kept asking me what was wrong and what was my problem. Finally, I told him and it didn't come out nicely, to say the least. I can't remember the last time I really yelled at him, but I did yesterday. Normally I would be quite shaken by him screaming at me, but for some reason it didn't phase me. I think I am emotionally disconnected from him, and much stronger mentally than I was a few years ago. I am much more dependent now, and do not rely on him for anything, as I was so nicely reminded yesterday. He had the audacity to tell me my job didn't matter, he didn't care about my job, and he expected me to take time off work to do anything involving us, because my job isn't important. I couldn't believe it! He also said the car is mine, thus my responsibility if anything goes wrong. Yet, he uses the car whenever convenient for him, and considers it his too, unless something goes wrong, and I'm sure he would want the car if we were to divorce (which I told him).
So, last night after our argument G told me he would take the damaged tire and rim and get it replaced today so I wouldn't have to take off work. I thanked him for his gesture, BUT...I talked to him at 5 pm today and he told me he wasn't going to get around to it today since he was too busy. Figures! He also told me I shouldn't be driving on the spare at all...yet he takes the tire I planned to fix today? Sounds like more manipulation and control tactics to me. Unfortunately for him, I won't buy into his crap! I frankly don't care what happens with the damn tire right now! I also expect we won't discuss our argument last night to actually resolve the issue since we are both stubborn. Neither of us think we did anything wrong. Arguments without resolution destroy relationships, which I've tried to tell G on numerous occasions; yet he refuses to sit down and attempt to resolve anything with me.
I guess it would seem fairly suiting that I would dream about J last night. In my dream I was at a restaurant with G, yet J was there. I don't remember the minute details, but know I wanted to leave with J. I know J merely represents my hope for a better relationship, and not the true actuality of how our relationship would be if actualized. Despite my knowledge of my subconscious thoughts regarding J, I still dream about being happy with him, and think about him all the time. I don't know if I can ever escape my dreams of "what could have been if", especially during downward spirals in my current relationship.
Yesterday I found out I would have to wait 3.5 hours for my tires to get changed, plus a 1.5 hour commute, so I decided to wait until today to go to the tire shop. I went to the gym yesterday and fumed about G's treatment and realized he was making any and all attempts to manipulate and belittle me as he did when we first wed. To his dismay, I did not buy into his scheming tactics. I was so furious I couldn't even talk to him. He kept asking me what was wrong and what was my problem. Finally, I told him and it didn't come out nicely, to say the least. I can't remember the last time I really yelled at him, but I did yesterday. Normally I would be quite shaken by him screaming at me, but for some reason it didn't phase me. I think I am emotionally disconnected from him, and much stronger mentally than I was a few years ago. I am much more dependent now, and do not rely on him for anything, as I was so nicely reminded yesterday. He had the audacity to tell me my job didn't matter, he didn't care about my job, and he expected me to take time off work to do anything involving us, because my job isn't important. I couldn't believe it! He also said the car is mine, thus my responsibility if anything goes wrong. Yet, he uses the car whenever convenient for him, and considers it his too, unless something goes wrong, and I'm sure he would want the car if we were to divorce (which I told him).
So, last night after our argument G told me he would take the damaged tire and rim and get it replaced today so I wouldn't have to take off work. I thanked him for his gesture, BUT...I talked to him at 5 pm today and he told me he wasn't going to get around to it today since he was too busy. Figures! He also told me I shouldn't be driving on the spare at all...yet he takes the tire I planned to fix today? Sounds like more manipulation and control tactics to me. Unfortunately for him, I won't buy into his crap! I frankly don't care what happens with the damn tire right now! I also expect we won't discuss our argument last night to actually resolve the issue since we are both stubborn. Neither of us think we did anything wrong. Arguments without resolution destroy relationships, which I've tried to tell G on numerous occasions; yet he refuses to sit down and attempt to resolve anything with me.
I guess it would seem fairly suiting that I would dream about J last night. In my dream I was at a restaurant with G, yet J was there. I don't remember the minute details, but know I wanted to leave with J. I know J merely represents my hope for a better relationship, and not the true actuality of how our relationship would be if actualized. Despite my knowledge of my subconscious thoughts regarding J, I still dream about being happy with him, and think about him all the time. I don't know if I can ever escape my dreams of "what could have been if", especially during downward spirals in my current relationship.
Comments
That's probably an accurate analysis of your dream. It's trying to tell you something.
I don't want to minimize your situation with a catch-all solution like "leave him"- but do you see yourself being happy with him in 20 or 30 years if he refuses to work on the things that need to happen and are important to you now? If he were my spouse, he'd wake up one morning with that flat tire wedged up his ass sideways.