Where Have All the People Gone?

I've been so stressed the last few days. I've been up and down and all around with my mood and outlook on life. When I am away from home or I should say my husband I feel great and positive. I dread comings home, because the last three days my husband has started screaming at me from the second I walk in the door; he then proceeds to act rude and demeaning throughout the evening. He hasn't lifted one finger to do anything around the house. My family will be here in 2 days and his stuff is piled everywhere. I've addressed the issues with him and he could care less. He gets home 3 or more hours earlier than I everyday and just falls asleep on the couch until I come home. I am so frustrated. My job is very emotionally trying and I just want to come home and relax, but I get chewed out every night, plus I am expected to cook dinner and clean the house. Last night I helped him pour concrete for 5 hours, then went to the store at 10pm, took a shower and went to bed. On Monday I didn't even get home until 8pm. I just don't understand what his problem is. Are all guys jerks?

I'm really having a problem dealing with my situation right now, especially since I have no support from friends or family. Just the thought of having J (my ex) there to at least say hi to once in a while made such a difference, and now we aren't' talking anymore. I used to be able to talk to him about anything and I've never even had that with my spouse. I've been trying to call my family for the last 5 days and they are never home or the phone is busy.

I at least feel I have a way out of my situation now because I have a job. The pay isn't wonderful, but I could make about 5k more a year just by working 5 hours of over time a week. I also get paid well for mileage and could easily make a car payment just from mileage reimbursement. I can work as much overtime as I want and can have a flexible schedule when I complete training, so I really think I could make it work on my own. I also get about 36 paid days off per year, which is very nice. I wish I could make my problems disappear. I am so disappointed, because I felt so great about finding a good job and my husband seemed so supportive, but now he is being a complete ass. I feel like staying in a hotel just so I don't have to go home and deal with his BS.

Comments

Vespucci said…
It's horrible to not have someone to talk to IRL. To converse with someone about your apprehensions and worries. For me, that would be my best-friend Jen. I don't dare imagine what it would be like if she weren't there. I hope that you and J will talk to each other once more. It helps to let it all out (one way or another), even if it doesn't solve anything.
5/19/2005 2:13 PM
Searching for the Answers... said…
Vespucci~ Thanks for your response. I'm not sure if it would be a good idea to talk to J anymore, just because our situation is so complex. Our separation combined with relational tension created a huge rift in our once amazing friendship. I'm not sure it can ever be the same because so many emotions are involved. I guess my pride has also been getting in the way, because I really miss him and would love to talk with him. I'm just not sure what I should do?
5/19/2005 6:14 PM
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