One of Those Days...

Today is one of those days where I just feel sad and depressed. My family left on Sunday and I miss them so much, even though I am so grateful for the little time we spent together. I'm frustrated with my job because the department is so unorganized. I am supposed to have health coverage tomorrow and I've called three times now, being told ever time "your forms will be sent in today", and the insurance company doesn't have any documentation on file. My spouse and I have been discussing taking a short vacation to the city where J lives, which brings up all the emotions I've been trying to hide from regarding our situation. I still miss him and can't believe our relationship ended without even a goodbye. I've been fantasizing about seeing him when we visit or the off chance I would just run into him. I want to tell him I might be in town, but then the barrier still exists and I can't be the one to break the silence since he told me to never contact him again. I keep telling myself it would have never worked out between us, but on another level I still hope for the chance it might. I know I've been suppressing my feeling regarding the situation, which slowly creates more stress and depression in my life. I will just start crying for no reason. I don't have anyone I can talk to about the situation. I've thought about finding a counselor, but I am already so stretched for time since my spouse won't assist with household chores or even paying the bills.

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