I do, but I don't?
I must first start off with "I think my pain medication makes me bipolar". I try to take the less potent meds, but they cause severe migraines. So, I take my stronger ones that make me feel like I am high, so I can work. I can't stop moving and doing 20 things per minute. I am going, going, gone... However, I also feel moody and irritable. My senses are highened and I get easily overstimulated, making me feel overwhelmed. Sounds like I am on speed or soemthing. Whatever it does, it works to dull the pain and gives me energy that I always seem to lack. I'm almost out so will unfortunately have to make an appointment with a doctor. I'm so sick of doctors!!!
So back to the real reason I'm writing today. On Saturday our friends told us about a coworker who has a sister that is going to have a baby in November. They said she doesn't want her baby and wants to give it up. It peaked our interest, but I did not even start to get my hopes up. After about an hour discussion about this sitution the truth came out (why are people so annoying!). Why couldn't they just be upfront to begin with instead of making us feel like we might have a shot at getting this child? She even called her coworker and had me talk to her. Come to find out, the mom already has several kids in CPS custody. She is on drugs and living on the street. CPS will take custody of this child, but the mom isn't willingly giving it up. Thus, we have to become certified foster parents, which takes 6 months or more. Then if the child is placed with us we have to wait 2-3 years for the state to sever parental rights (if they can't reunify the family). Plus, the state usually tries to place children in homes together. It is a huge mess and I don't want to deal with it. I want a child to be ours, not put up with the system for who knows how long. In addition, at any time the state can decide to remove a child from a foster placement at any time for any reason, even if the family was told they have a chance at adopting the baby. I can't bear any more heart break!
I am pissed at our friend for doing that to us. She knows how important breast feeding and avoiding vaccines is to me (which I can't do w/ a child in foster care). She also said the child had a certain ethnicity that was way off! She even showed us a picture of one of the siblings and insisted the child was a certain ethnicity when it was obviously not so. We haven't really thought about a bi-racial home. I wouldn't know how to deal with the odd situations or times when other kids would make fun of the child. I would rather others just "assume" we were the biological parents, instead of thinking we were baby sitting or adopted the child. I honestly don't know what to think anymore? I always get so caught up in the "what ifs"; I guess that is a downfall of an analytical mind. G and I are on the same page with this though.
The thought of having a child in November is scary. It seems too soon. I always expected I would have at least 9 months to prepare. I am a planner and need routines and schedules. We would have to cancel our vacation because I couldn't imagine leaving a new baby with someone else for almost 2 weeks. We have nothing for a baby and would have to move out or sell one of our guest room furniture sets. It would be exciting and life changing. For now it isn't going to happen, but if it is placed on our hearts I guess we will try to get this child. I do think it would be a good idea to get our foster care certification so we are ready if presented with a situation like this. The outcome may not take as long if the birth mother willingly wanted to sign over parental rights. I was really hoping we had found someone who not out of obligation or force, wanted to give up their child. It would save us so much time and money.
So back to the real reason I'm writing today. On Saturday our friends told us about a coworker who has a sister that is going to have a baby in November. They said she doesn't want her baby and wants to give it up. It peaked our interest, but I did not even start to get my hopes up. After about an hour discussion about this sitution the truth came out (why are people so annoying!). Why couldn't they just be upfront to begin with instead of making us feel like we might have a shot at getting this child? She even called her coworker and had me talk to her. Come to find out, the mom already has several kids in CPS custody. She is on drugs and living on the street. CPS will take custody of this child, but the mom isn't willingly giving it up. Thus, we have to become certified foster parents, which takes 6 months or more. Then if the child is placed with us we have to wait 2-3 years for the state to sever parental rights (if they can't reunify the family). Plus, the state usually tries to place children in homes together. It is a huge mess and I don't want to deal with it. I want a child to be ours, not put up with the system for who knows how long. In addition, at any time the state can decide to remove a child from a foster placement at any time for any reason, even if the family was told they have a chance at adopting the baby. I can't bear any more heart break!
I am pissed at our friend for doing that to us. She knows how important breast feeding and avoiding vaccines is to me (which I can't do w/ a child in foster care). She also said the child had a certain ethnicity that was way off! She even showed us a picture of one of the siblings and insisted the child was a certain ethnicity when it was obviously not so. We haven't really thought about a bi-racial home. I wouldn't know how to deal with the odd situations or times when other kids would make fun of the child. I would rather others just "assume" we were the biological parents, instead of thinking we were baby sitting or adopted the child. I honestly don't know what to think anymore? I always get so caught up in the "what ifs"; I guess that is a downfall of an analytical mind. G and I are on the same page with this though.
The thought of having a child in November is scary. It seems too soon. I always expected I would have at least 9 months to prepare. I am a planner and need routines and schedules. We would have to cancel our vacation because I couldn't imagine leaving a new baby with someone else for almost 2 weeks. We have nothing for a baby and would have to move out or sell one of our guest room furniture sets. It would be exciting and life changing. For now it isn't going to happen, but if it is placed on our hearts I guess we will try to get this child. I do think it would be a good idea to get our foster care certification so we are ready if presented with a situation like this. The outcome may not take as long if the birth mother willingly wanted to sign over parental rights. I was really hoping we had found someone who not out of obligation or force, wanted to give up their child. It would save us so much time and money.
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