Help...I Need Opinions!
I was just thinking to myself during the last few weeks that it had been a while since I was extremely angry with G. In keeping with tradition with the last 3 years, I couldn't let September pass without doing so. I am so utterly pissed that I have to keep reminding myself to breathe. Yesterday at about 4 pm I called him at work to ask where the key was for the back gate (since he has to lock it all the time), so the pest control guy could spray the backyard. He screened my call and called back about 5 minutes later. It sounded noisy and I asked him were he was? He said "at work" and I questioned him further because I didn't believe him and he insisted he was still working and AT work. He then proceeded to chew me out because I lost the key and should know where he put it. I asked when he would be home and done working and he said "I'm still working! I don't know!".
Well at about 8:30 pm he comes strolling in, chewing gum and asks how I'm doing, as if everything is peachy. He smelled like a bottle of vodka and I asked him where he was? He said "out....at the bar". I then became pissed because he didn't even have the courtesy to call me to say he would be home late or he needed to go out after work. I don't care if he does this, but I don't like him coming home drunk and not calling me to let me know he will be home late. I asked what time he went to the bar and he said after 5:30 pm. He never answered when I asked him why he couldn't have some courtesy to call and let me know while he was on his way there. I asked where he was specifically and he said a "city" bar. He wouldn't tell me where exactly. I put in a princess movie to annoy him and he passed out on the couch.
This morning he pretended as if everything was just fine. I asked if he planned to tell me why he couldn't even tell me he was coming home late and was going to the bar? He didn't say anything. I asked how he could get drunk in only 1.5 hours? He said, "what are you talking about". I told him what he said last night about going out after 5:30 pm. He said, "No, I was there way before then". He was there during our phone conversation yesterday. Not only did he not tell me he was there on the phone, but he lied and said he was at work. In addition, he insisted that he didn't lie to me and that he was "with people from work", so technically "at work". He also, conveniently said he couldn't remember when he really went and didn't remember why he didn't tell me. He also told me the specific bar he went to, which I don't even believe that. Now he won't talk to me about it because I am "playing games". He has also commented in the past about how rude and inconsiderate husbands can be to their wives by either lying about going to the bar or not even calling to say they would be home late. Yet, he does the same thing!!!
Why would he lie about something so stupid? He goes out all the time after work and lets me know. It's not like I make him come home or get angry with him when he tells me he is going out after work or going to be home late. However, I do get livid when I am lied to and made to feel like I am overreacting, because I don't let him get away with "bending the truth". He believes that twisting the truth to convey something other than the truth is not lying. I consider it a lie (am I wrong?) According to comments on my blog it seems like I "under react" most of the time.
Last night I had a suspicion that something was going on and I was correct! I've had several "feelings" during the last 6 months or so and I always discount them. He has been coming home later all the time (often after 7pm, when he used to get home at 4:30 or earlier) with the excuse "I was working". I wonder what else is he lying about if he believes he can conveniently twist the truth? I will put up with a lot, but I will not tolerate lying!!! Lying to me indicates one has something to hide and needs a cover story. Does anyone else think something else is going on? If so, what??? Please, I need some objective opinions before I talk to him about this any more. I also don't want to over or under react this time. I am not about to let him get away from taking responsbility and paying for his choices if there is something else going on! Through anger I can quickly overcome my fears. I am so sick of his cocky, "I'm better than everyone else" attitude! Someone needs to teach him a lesson that it isn't ok to belittle those around him so he can feel better about himself. He comes off as a charming, proud, nice enough guy...but he is so full of himself! I've never seen him humbled a day in his life. Ugggh..I am pissed!
Well at about 8:30 pm he comes strolling in, chewing gum and asks how I'm doing, as if everything is peachy. He smelled like a bottle of vodka and I asked him where he was? He said "out....at the bar". I then became pissed because he didn't even have the courtesy to call me to say he would be home late or he needed to go out after work. I don't care if he does this, but I don't like him coming home drunk and not calling me to let me know he will be home late. I asked what time he went to the bar and he said after 5:30 pm. He never answered when I asked him why he couldn't have some courtesy to call and let me know while he was on his way there. I asked where he was specifically and he said a "city" bar. He wouldn't tell me where exactly. I put in a princess movie to annoy him and he passed out on the couch.
This morning he pretended as if everything was just fine. I asked if he planned to tell me why he couldn't even tell me he was coming home late and was going to the bar? He didn't say anything. I asked how he could get drunk in only 1.5 hours? He said, "what are you talking about". I told him what he said last night about going out after 5:30 pm. He said, "No, I was there way before then". He was there during our phone conversation yesterday. Not only did he not tell me he was there on the phone, but he lied and said he was at work. In addition, he insisted that he didn't lie to me and that he was "with people from work", so technically "at work". He also, conveniently said he couldn't remember when he really went and didn't remember why he didn't tell me. He also told me the specific bar he went to, which I don't even believe that. Now he won't talk to me about it because I am "playing games". He has also commented in the past about how rude and inconsiderate husbands can be to their wives by either lying about going to the bar or not even calling to say they would be home late. Yet, he does the same thing!!!
Why would he lie about something so stupid? He goes out all the time after work and lets me know. It's not like I make him come home or get angry with him when he tells me he is going out after work or going to be home late. However, I do get livid when I am lied to and made to feel like I am overreacting, because I don't let him get away with "bending the truth". He believes that twisting the truth to convey something other than the truth is not lying. I consider it a lie (am I wrong?) According to comments on my blog it seems like I "under react" most of the time.
Last night I had a suspicion that something was going on and I was correct! I've had several "feelings" during the last 6 months or so and I always discount them. He has been coming home later all the time (often after 7pm, when he used to get home at 4:30 or earlier) with the excuse "I was working". I wonder what else is he lying about if he believes he can conveniently twist the truth? I will put up with a lot, but I will not tolerate lying!!! Lying to me indicates one has something to hide and needs a cover story. Does anyone else think something else is going on? If so, what??? Please, I need some objective opinions before I talk to him about this any more. I also don't want to over or under react this time. I am not about to let him get away from taking responsbility and paying for his choices if there is something else going on! Through anger I can quickly overcome my fears. I am so sick of his cocky, "I'm better than everyone else" attitude! Someone needs to teach him a lesson that it isn't ok to belittle those around him so he can feel better about himself. He comes off as a charming, proud, nice enough guy...but he is so full of himself! I've never seen him humbled a day in his life. Ugggh..I am pissed!
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