Sorry, I'm Just ME!

Sorry I can't be the shining resemblance of happiness and perfection you expect me to be. I know every one loves the happy, peppy, lighthearted funny person, but that isn't me right now. You may have the ability to flick a switch and go from sad and gloomy to happy in 2.5 seconds, but I don't; believe me, I wish I did. Do you think I actually enjoy feeling miserable, hopeless, and depressed? I certainly don't and would love you to feel the way I do and have people tell you to "cheer up", "smile", "be happy", "life isn't that bad", "life is what you make it", etc., well F#@* off! It doesn't work that way for me. Your little beady eyes and happy shining face don't make me feel any better; you only serve as a grim reminder of the person I wish I could be right now. Sometimes my gloomy depressing moods are a choice, but not all the time. I can't choose to feel HAPPY right now like you think I need to be. I am taking anti depressants for a reason...I have a chemical imbalance...right? I can't control my piss ass mood right now. I am sorry, but get over it!

Comments

Soul Searching said…
I don't know why, but I love this post. I hope getting it out made you feel better :)
9/12/2005 6:09 AM
Searching for the Answers... said…
Yes it is nice to vent once in awhile! Everyone in my life thinks I really am happy and such a sweet, innocent, person. If they only knew what I truly felt.
10/01/2005 2:13 PM
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