Searching....for Something Within....

Hmmmm. I'm again struggling to find my feelings. I know they exist somewhere within but can't seem to access the root of my pain. I've felt overwhelmingly depressed today and I can't determine why. I could hardly bring myself to get out of bed. I feel a cloud of gloom hovering over my head, blocking the light of day. The very second I think I'm ok, my eyes begin to fill with tears welling from within the hidden unknown of my soul. I unknowingly block family and friends out of my life, ignoring their desperate attempts to find a glimpse of the wonderful person they know hides somewhere within the encapsulation of my being. I love the person I used to be, and also long to find even the faintest resemblance of her, but she is nowhere to be found. I don't even know where to begin searching, as if I am almost afraid to look beyond the person I've become.

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