Invocation

Something is missing in my relationship with my husband; I just don't feel passionate towards him. I want the feelings to exist, but they don't. I try to be emotionally present but I'm not sure I know how. The lack of passion becomes especially problematic while we make love. I don't even feel as if I am present and it takes me forever to even kind of get in the mood. I remember a time when I didn't have to "try" to make love or be affectionate, now it seems to be one of my biggest challenges. For some reason I can't find the words to express my thoughts right now. I love G but not the way I want to love my spouse. I used to believe I could choose to love someone, but I now know I can't. I guess on another level I may be subconsciously sabotaging my full expression of love towards G. I just don't know! I continue to have dreams of J, even though I refrain from thinking of him for most of the day. G would like me to tell him, but he feels so insecure right now I don't want to add to his pain. If I do tell him I had a dream of J he becomes paranoid asking if I want to leave and if I really want to be with him. I guess I would too. I feel terrible for putting him in such a position. I don't think I could stay in a relationship where my spouse was not emotionally present, it would be too painful.

Comments

Anonymous said…
The longer you are married the more you must try/work at ensuring passion stays in a marriage. Don't give up and fall into the brother complex! Try and find ways to increase the passion, communicate to your spouse about what you need and the passion you desire.
My husband and I have been married for over 20 years, we struggled for years with passion and found that special something- it took a long time after our "honeymoon passion" was lost but it was worth every second that it was lost. The main thing is we found something that worked for us and not just myself; or him.
7/15/2005 1:02 PM
Searching for the Answers... said…
Thanks so much for your encouragement! I hope we can find a way to increase my passion, as my husband doesn't have the same problem.
7/15/2005 4:54 PM
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