Life Priorities...

Have you ever asked yourself... What are my priorities in life?, and then actually examined how closely you are actually living according to your priorities? I perform this helpful, but painful exercise on occasion to give myself a reality check.

I hate to admit, but for the last 4 years I have been living in survival mode. I couldn't actualize my true "priorities", because I was in the process of trying to survive. My list looked similar to the following although I wanted the same things I do now:
  1. Obtain education/advance career
  2. Increase financial stability
  3. Block emotional pain from life
  4. Determine whom to be with relationally

I find examining my priorities so difficult because my life never seems to align with my goals. I want my priorities to be the following:

  1. Family: I want family to be above all other aspects of my life, but find it so difficult to keep towards the top. G is my family, but my parents and siblings all live in my home state. G's job and lack of ambition to find another keep us both separated from our families. I also want to have children, but won't unless I am near my family. I don't feel I have a lot of control involving this aspect of my life.
  2. Health: I am working towards improving my health by exercising, attempting to balance my diet, made my first dental apt. in 6 years (no cavities... yay!), have an upcoming Dr. Apt. and plan to undergo surgery sometime this year so I might be able to have kids someday.
  3. Stability (financial, emotional, relational): G and I both working significantly increases our financial stability. Working deteriorates my emotional and relational stability. In general I have a long way to go to improve my mental health. I did plan to consult with a counselor, but find I have very little time.
  4. Pursuit of fun: Where does the fun go when we become adults? The older I become, the harder I have to work to have fun, which seems so depressing. I hardly ever do fun or enjoyable activities, because work, bills, cleaning, always seem to take precedence. I think life would be more bearable if I spent as much time having fun as I do on other not so fun activities like cleaning, working, paying bills, stressing out, etc.
  5. Sanity: I would love to feel sane. Sometimes I wonder if I am loosing my mind amidst the daily grind of life. I always ponder over ways to escape the insanity of getting through a single day. All I want is peace!!!
  6. Education/Career: Education and career advancement only make my priority list because part of me will always retreat to survival mode. If I felt 100% secure in my relationship and trusted God and others I would not care, but in my best interest I feel I must be able to support myself if something in my life doesn't work out. The only reason I haven't quit my job yet is because I need post graduate experience to validate my degree, otherwise it will have been a waste of my time; I won't be able to fall back on my education if needed. Although career/education made my list, they reside at the bottom. My current job forces itself to the top in my life, because as a result of my job I can't spend time with my family, go to the gym, or pursue enjoyable activities. It only assists in improving my financial status, but decreases my emotional and relational stability.

I think I will eternally struggle in achieving my priorities in the order I would like. At least I have a starting point and a goal to work towards. I hope I will seriously consider how my priorities may be affected prior to making decisions in my life. I wrote them down so I have a reference point when I am feeling lost and confused.

Comments

Anonymous said…
Hi, you are talking about priorities but are not serious. If your family IS your priority, than make that decision and set some goals towards it. I think you should make a decision about what you want, any decision that reflects what you think is important and that you back up. Make a decision and work towards that without thinking all the time: what if...
5/19/2006 3:33 PM
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