Wake UP Call.
A few days ago my old modeling agency called me out of the blue. Since we moved and I started working full time, I stopped caring about doing any type of acting/modeling. They asked me to do a catalog shoot next week and asked if I looked the same as my 2 year old pictures from my portfolio? I of course said YES! I'm not sure if they will call me back because I can only work 2 of the 3 days. I didn't even think to ask what kind of catalog, but have been thinking about how I used to look 2 years ago. I guess I don't look the same, as I've gained 10 lbs! I weigh as much as I did in high school and averaged 10-20 lbs less than I am now in college. Thus, I feel like a cow now and don't even want to do the shoot because I have to face my weight gain. I didn't sleep well last night and woke up at 3:30 am because I can't stop thinking about my weight and classes. I think the phone call made me realize I need to seriously consider my diet and start exercising again. If I'm not careful, I will continue to add 5 lbs a year until I am obese. I am getting older and obviously my metabolism is slowing, especially since I don't work out at all. I eat what ever I want whenever and rarely eat fruits or vegetables. Also, the temperature averages 80 degrees year round and I am so white. I look as if I haven't seen sun in years. I just don't care to become at risk for skin cancer because I want to look "good". If my agency calls me back I guess I will have to get a spray tan or something. It just seems like such a hassle, but I really think I need to take this opportunity if anything to become motivated to change my lifestyle.
I took G to the airport at 4:30 am and sat with him until 7 since he was helping me work on advanced algebra, which I seem to have forgotten in the last 6 years. I have a test today and think I will fail the advanced algebra part. I also need to take an exam tomorrow so I'm not stuck trying to take all my mid-terms the week I am recovering from my surgery. If I can pull it off, I will have completed the half way mark in 4 weeks instead of 7 for several of my classes.
G has an "interview" on Monday with the company in MT. It really isn't an interview since they already offered him the position. G has to prove he is worth the company paying him an above average salary for MT, and the company has to prove to G that they are worth him taking a 30-40% pay cut. The decision we make in the next week will change our lives forever! I'm trying not to stress about what happens.
I reassessed our budget over the last year and realized we can easily cut out 30k if we don't work on a house or have a mortgage. Thus, G's pay cut will possibly work. I listed our house on Craigslist fully furnished. It would be a miracle if we actually sold it since the housing market crashed. Not having to worry about packing and moving all of our stuff would be such a relief and save us so much money. Plus I could start all over- purchasing new items for our house, which I love to do.
I took G to the airport at 4:30 am and sat with him until 7 since he was helping me work on advanced algebra, which I seem to have forgotten in the last 6 years. I have a test today and think I will fail the advanced algebra part. I also need to take an exam tomorrow so I'm not stuck trying to take all my mid-terms the week I am recovering from my surgery. If I can pull it off, I will have completed the half way mark in 4 weeks instead of 7 for several of my classes.
G has an "interview" on Monday with the company in MT. It really isn't an interview since they already offered him the position. G has to prove he is worth the company paying him an above average salary for MT, and the company has to prove to G that they are worth him taking a 30-40% pay cut. The decision we make in the next week will change our lives forever! I'm trying not to stress about what happens.
I reassessed our budget over the last year and realized we can easily cut out 30k if we don't work on a house or have a mortgage. Thus, G's pay cut will possibly work. I listed our house on Craigslist fully furnished. It would be a miracle if we actually sold it since the housing market crashed. Not having to worry about packing and moving all of our stuff would be such a relief and save us so much money. Plus I could start all over- purchasing new items for our house, which I love to do.
Comments
1) Congratulations on the call for the photo shoot. Things out of the blue like that rarely happen without some meaning behind it. I do hope that you are still happy with yourself with 10 more pounds than you are use to have. If you don't mind me saying- I'm sure you're still beautiful with it as you were without it.
2) Was thinking about your potential move to MT the other day. From what I remember from an earlier post you have a condition that would make life hell for you if you were living in a cold climate. Has that crossed G's mind? I could see him taking it seriously if he was getting a 30% increase in pay, but getting that amount as a decrease? And still dragging you to a climate that could worsen your health? Are your best interests and well-being anywhere near his mind? That's how it should be in a marriage- there is rarely ever a "me", it is replaced by "we" and all decisions need to benefit both in some way. Sounds like this just benefits his ego. I don't know how you two function as a married couple- no offense. As I was thinking about it, all I could think of was how inconsiderate and selfish it is of him to even pursue this.
There- I said it. Maybe one day when I'm married I'll see how it really is and will stop acting like I know what I'm talking about.
I don't know if the photo shoot is something I feel good about. I am very stressed now, and actually hoping they don't call me back.
Yes, I do have 2 conditions that would make moving to MT not wonderful- Raynaud's syndrome and Seasonal Affective Disorder (depressed when it is gloomy or when there is no sun). I can take care of the SAD w/ a special light, but the Raynaud's has no cure or effective treatment other than drugs which I try to stay away from. G knows about all the reasons I don't want to move back. Sometimes I think he cares and others I don't. He always falls back on the fact that we planned to move back to MT when we first left. Now that I actually like living here, I guess I can't decide I want to stay. I'm trying not to worry about it since the decision hasn't been made yet. I agree a marriage needs to be "we" instead of "me" to work. Thus, I am trying to keep an open mind. I made it for 6 years in MT (miserably), so I'm sure I could make it again.
Your pictures of Graeme make me want to post pictures of my little puppies, but my camera hasn't been working lately.