Hope, Dreams, Reality?

I feel like I've reached the breaking point. I don't even want to take another breath. I feel like everything in my life is bad news. I try my best to see the light and turn the bad into positive, but I can only take so much. Last week I had an ultrasound and I felt positive about what the results would entail, but to my dismay I called the doctor's office today and was told my results couldn't be released over the phone. I asked why, because I was originally told by the doctor she would call with the results. The case aide told me my results were abnormal and the doctor needs to see me to discuss my options. The catch is they can't get me in until next week! I have to wait an entire week wondering what in the hell is wrong with me now. I told her the doctor needs to call me because I can't wait and wonder for an entire week for the results. In some way I hope the doctor found an answer to my constant pain. The intensity and longevity has been increasing substantially the last few months. I'm also feeling so nauseous every day, all day. Before the nausea started when I began taking anti depressants, but it hasn't stopped since, only intensified.

My breaking point occurred when I arrived home and discovered G did nothing I've asked him to do in the last two weeks. He lost an important paper and ruined my favorite clothes because he was being lazy as usual. In addition, he hasn't picked up his clothes scattered everywhere in over a month. I can't stand living with a lazy ass slob! I'm sure it isn't only G, but the negative in my life finally boiling over. I feel like I can't stand to be with him another second, but maybe I feel like that about my life in general. Life is too much to handle right now. I really need strength to get through another day.