Future?

I finally went to the doctor today to hear the results of my ultrasound. Part of me was hoping the doctor would tell me I was pregnant or some hint of good news. I don't really know what to think of the news because it hasn't settled in yet. I wanted to cry, but held it in. My emotions regarding this issue are locked away for the time being. I guess I have "abnormal" growths...three types, an unknown mass- could be cancerous, cysts, and uterine polyps. I thought my ovaries were fine, but learned I have growths and abnormalities on both. I have to schedule surgery now and they will perform two different procedures while only drugging me once...yay! The doctor initially wanted to have two surgeries, but I don't see what the point is if I am already cut open. I am so frustrated with doctors. I've made at least 15 appointments in 4 months and know absolutely nothing more than when I started. I keep getting referred to a different specialist who supposedly will have an answer. I am about ready to say screw it all and just suffer, because it seems to be my projected outlook anyways.

I have yet another health problem this week. I get dizzy and feel like I am going to pass out when I stand up or breathe. I think I have a dislocated vertebrae or two in my upper spine. I need to make an appointment with a chiropractor or something, but just don't have the time right now. I should really just have another PET scan of my brain and spine to see if my other "growth" has enlarged over the last 4 years. I can't wait!

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