"Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened"...

Today I decided I am going to stop taking my anti depressant medication. After a 2.5 month trial period I am not impressed with the results. I don't feel like myself anymore. I actually think I felt more depressive with the medication. I was supposed to take the medication to reduce stress, which would thus reduce my pain and to reduce the incidence of migraines. Well, my pain has increased substantially in the last few months. My migraine headaches have diminished though; I only average about 3/month as opposed to 8 or more previously. I can live with migraines, but not the pain I've been feeling lately. I also felt like my judgment and intellect has been clouded. I haven't been focused or able to think clearly lately either. I took half a dose today and will continue to reduce the dose for the next 2 weeks. I expected to feel very depressed today, but I actually feel great. I accomplished so much at work and thought very clearly. I am also in a good mood, despite my migraine. Although it may be the pain medication making me feel on "cloud 9". In the past I have become very, very, depressive when I began taking the medication and when I increased the dosage. I don't want to live on medication. I hate meds, but am completely dependent on them to make it through a day.

Oh, good news... We are getting another puppy. G bought him today and he will be here tomorrow. He will be a little friend for our baby girl. I hope he is super cute and has a great personality like her since we haven't seen him yet. I'm not sure about the responsibility of caring for another pet. I do all the work while G does nothing. Every day I feed and water our girl, brush her, clean her eyes, play with her, work on training, and give her a bath once a week. Now I will have to do the same for 2 dogs!

Lately G has been very romantic. He purchased flowers for me twice in a month which is post marriage unheard of! Maybe he figured he better step up his game since I haven't been in the "mood" lately. Oh, that is another aspect of my life effected by anti-depressants...I have no sex drive and before G couldn't keep up with me. Now we are lucky to pull off 2x month...Pathetic!

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