New vs. Renew

Last week was terrible! We attempted to go to the "Divorce Proof Your Marriage" class at church and I didn't even last for half the class before I walked out during a break and walked home. One of the ground rules requested individuals to not insult or be rude to their spouse, but I felt like G completely insulted me when we had to share what first attracted us to our mate. I couldn't believe he would do such a thing in front of so many people. Before we even went I was seriously contemplating ending the hell I call marriage because he lied to me again when I could clearly prove his lie wrong. He still looked at me and lied over and over again.

After completing research I realized if I do divorce him I have a great chance of getting alimony, which would solve many of my financial problems. I gave up my education in a much higher paying field so he could be an engineer. In return I am stuck with a low paying job unless I obtain my Master's degree, which will take me 3 years starting fall of 2007 because I missed the deadline for this school year. With the alimony and my current job I could afford to pay for my school myself.

With my research in hand and guilt on my conscious I decided to wait until we at least get through our marriage class. We both haven't been putting anything into our marriage, so how can we expect to get anything out? We realized we have to put energy and effort into having a decent relationship. I also read a book this week and realized I am/was already emotionally divorced from G. Thus it is the same as a legal divorce in the eyes of God. So if it is the same, then why not divorce G now? Well, I figure I need to at least give us a chance because second marriages have even a greater failure rate. Plus, I would feel so guilty and terrible if we had to split up our puppies. I couldn't imagine visitation or separating the poor, sweet things. I am going to try and noticed G has been trying as well.

Comments

Anonymous said…
I know some people would make hurtful comments about staying together for the dogs, but, really, it's no different than staying together for the kids. And, I totally understand the attachment one forms to their pets, as you well know if you've read enough of my blog.

I think it's both admirable and in your best interests to follow through and do everything you think is reasonable to try and salvage your marriage. If you ever feel like you didn't do everything you could, you would never, ever feel good about the divorce. Again, I know because I've been there. If, however, at the end of it all, you still end up getting divorced, don't be hard on yourself for the decision. You have the right to be happy and fulfilled and feel safe in a relationship. If you were lied to from the very start, I cannot imagine how you would ever feel that in a relationship with that person.
So, good for you! You've got a plan and all you need to do is stick to it. In the end, no matter what happens, I'm sure it will be for the best.
9/16/2006 10:53 AM
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