Dissipation of the Mirage?
Wow, I haven't written a post in two weeks. Life has been awesome lately, thus I don't need to utilize my outlet for stress and pain.
On the other hand, I am starting to wonder if my contentment will be short lived. I can honestly say I have been the happiest I've ever been in my entire life d
uring the last two months. I feel as if all aspects in my life are just as they should be. Unfortunately, G shared some news with me a few days ago that has potential to shatter my contentment. I think 6 months ago this news would have been wonderful, and I would have been thrilled; but now I feel like I am home and content.
G has been in our home state for a week on a business trip. He met the owners of a very prestigious company who offered him the highest position he can possibly have in his field. The company is based in G's home town...the place he would choose to live out of anywhere in the world. Not to mention, he would be working at one of the most prestigious private ski resorts in the world and get to ski at the "private" resort for 6 hours per week on company time plus receive a free season ski pass to any ski resort he chooses. G is in heaven when he skis, unfortunately, I can't ski because I literally begin to get frost bite after one run. My body just can't tolerate the cold to any degree. I am cold when it is 80 degrees, and anything below 50, I can't even feel my hands or feet. Well in our lovely home state the temperature was a whopping -35 this week! I know this could be an awesome opportunity for G, but a horrible opportunity for me. Chances are, I wouldn't be able to find a job in my field appropriate for my educational background, so I would either not work or be faced with measly minimum hour jobs (hell no!). I would have to give up the amazing job I have now, which I love so much! I would freeze my ass off and be depressed, because I have S.A.D. and become so depressed during cold, gloomy winters. I would have to give up my incredible home, which we are just finishing, for a nasty unrennovated home built in the 50's. We have been working on our backyard for over a year and are scheduled to complete it in April. I can't wait to utilize our amazing yard, yet if he accepts the position, we may not even get to see it to fruition. We would have to purchase 2 new vehicles because we NEED 4x4's. Thinking about loosing everything breaks my heart.
I couldn't fathom being so selfish to let G pass up the awesome opportunity if the benefits and pay are worth our while. I know he wouldn't make a decision of this magnitude without me, but I know this would be his dream come true. Although, he says it may not be what he really wants, I know he would jump at the opportunity if we weren't together. We would only live 3 hours from our families, but from past experience, we found that any distance is enough to keep us from seeing our families. We actually went to college in the same town for 2 years and hardly ever visited our families, and vice versa. It seems like a reverse effect...family is within driving distance, so no need to make the trip. If we do move back, I only want to live in the same town as my family. I want my sister to be able to come over at a minutes notice if she needs something. I want to go to all my family's weekly dinners. I want to help my family when they need it...not when I have time to drive to see them for a few days. It just isn't the same!
G told the company he wouldn't discuss the details until he returned home, because he didn't want to pursue other job opportunities while on company time. He will talk to them on Tuesday to discuss the logistics. Waiting 3 more days seems like waiting 20 years. In the end, I know an opportunity like this in our home state is really too good to be true, thus could only be God opening up the pathway for us to move closer to home or where he wants us to be. If it does pan out, then we will seriously have to consider all the pros and cons, and ultimately pray about our decision. As much as it would break my heart, I must remember that God has a greater plan for me than I have for myself. He won't give us a situation we can't endure through him.
On the other hand, I am starting to wonder if my contentment will be short lived. I can honestly say I have been the happiest I've ever been in my entire life d
uring the last two months. I feel as if all aspects in my life are just as they should be. Unfortunately, G shared some news with me a few days ago that has potential to shatter my contentment. I think 6 months ago this news would have been wonderful, and I would have been thrilled; but now I feel like I am home and content.G has been in our home state for a week on a business trip. He met the owners of a very prestigious company who offered him the highest position he can possibly have in his field. The company is based in G's home town...the place he would choose to live out of anywhere in the world. Not to mention, he would be working at one of the most prestigious private ski resorts in the world and get to ski at the "private" resort for 6 hours per week on company time plus receive a free season ski pass to any ski resort he chooses. G is in heaven when he skis, unfortunately, I can't ski because I literally begin to get frost bite after one run. My body just can't tolerate the cold to any degree. I am cold when it is 80 degrees, and anything below 50, I can't even feel my hands or feet. Well in our lovely home state the temperature was a whopping -35 this week! I know this could be an awesome opportunity for G, but a horrible opportunity for me. Chances are, I wouldn't be able to find a job in my field appropriate for my educational background, so I would either not work or be faced with measly minimum hour jobs (hell no!). I would have to give up the amazing job I have now, which I love so much! I would freeze my ass off and be depressed, because I have S.A.D. and become so depressed during cold, gloomy winters. I would have to give up my incredible home, which we are just finishing, for a nasty unrennovated home built in the 50's. We have been working on our backyard for over a year and are scheduled to complete it in April. I can't wait to utilize our amazing yard, yet if he accepts the position, we may not even get to see it to fruition. We would have to purchase 2 new vehicles because we NEED 4x4's. Thinking about loosing everything breaks my heart.
I couldn't fathom being so selfish to let G pass up the awesome opportunity if the benefits and pay are worth our while. I know he wouldn't make a decision of this magnitude without me, but I know this would be his dream come true. Although, he says it may not be what he really wants, I know he would jump at the opportunity if we weren't together. We would only live 3 hours from our families, but from past experience, we found that any distance is enough to keep us from seeing our families. We actually went to college in the same town for 2 years and hardly ever visited our families, and vice versa. It seems like a reverse effect...family is within driving distance, so no need to make the trip. If we do move back, I only want to live in the same town as my family. I want my sister to be able to come over at a minutes notice if she needs something. I want to go to all my family's weekly dinners. I want to help my family when they need it...not when I have time to drive to see them for a few days. It just isn't the same!G told the company he wouldn't discuss the details until he returned home, because he didn't want to pursue other job opportunities while on company time. He will talk to them on Tuesday to discuss the logistics. Waiting 3 more days seems like waiting 20 years. In the end, I know an opportunity like this in our home state is really too good to be true, thus could only be God opening up the pathway for us to move closer to home or where he wants us to be. If it does pan out, then we will seriously have to consider all the pros and cons, and ultimately pray about our decision. As much as it would break my heart, I must remember that God has a greater plan for me than I have for myself. He won't give us a situation we can't endure through him.
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