Missing G

I've been "needing" to write a few journal entries, but I just don't have the time! I can't wait until I start my new job. I worked all weekend even though I was very ill. G has been gone since last Thursday, first on a business trip and now gone until this Thursday since his grandfather passed away. I don't seem to realize how dependent I am on G in my life until he is gone. I hate living alone. I feel lost without him here and have been a wreck the past few days. I honestly don't know if or how I could survive without him. Having him physically available makes such a huge difference. Even at work I felt lost today, and I never see him at work; but I know I will see him when I arrive home. We have serious issues to work out, but I still miss him. I find it so difficult to be mad at him when he isn't here.

A few nights ago I had my first dream of J in a long while. It was an intimate dream, but I can't recall the specific details. My feelings are still the same though, and consciously I still don't have a desire or longing to be with him.

Comments

Anonymous said…
Dreams are dreams, not real life. My ex used to hold me responsible for what I did in her dreams, which is pure stupidity. Dreams are just semi-random neurons firing in your head, nothing to worry about, unless they start to bother you.
12/13/2005 7:08 AM
Soul Searching said…
I once woke up right as I was slapping M's back for something he did in a dream...ooops!

Sounds like you're at a much better place, though. Good luck with the new job!
12/14/2005 8:19 PM
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