"Happy Days"

I honestly don't know what to say? I don't know how I am feeling right now, other than terrible! Today is G and I's anniversary. We were supposed to get off early from work so we could spend the day together and go to dinner. I left the office at 12 and G didn't arrive home until almost 6 pm...so much for "early". On the way to dinner we argued after assessing the numerous shortfalls in our marriage. G started bashing me during dinner and I wanted nothing more than to leave. I could barely hold back the tears as my excitement quickly turned to disgust. We went to a nice sit down restaurant and were in and out in less than 30 minutes...what a nice dinner! I am so disappointed and disgusted with G and our marriage right now. Any time we attempt to communicate, it ends in an argument. I feel like a distant acquaintance of my spouse, which I find so sad. It seems like we are roommates instead of husband and wife. I want to be committed to my marriage, but find it so difficult when I don't feel in love with G. I don't think we even have anything in common anymore other than we live under the same roof. G is unwilling to work on any issues, but is the first to point out my shortfalls. He can't even look at himself and refuses to take responsibility for any of his actions. I honestly can't spend the rest of my life in a hopeless marriage. I need some inclination that I am not the only one who cares.

Comments

Anonymous said…
My ex-wife and I did horrible things to each other on holidays and anniversaries. Of course, my ex never really wanted to be married to me, so, that may account for some of it. And, she's certifiable, that probably didn't help much either.

I don't know anything about you outside this blog, but I want to be of use to you, if I can. I wish there were some magical formula for making it all work out, some words I could say that would change how things are, but, there isn't. Sometimes, life just deals us a bad hand, and who we are shows through to the world in how we play that hand.
Hang in there. Just take it one day at a time.
12/21/2005 5:30 AM
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