Points of Contention
What happens when attempts are made to express your concerns about constantly being disrespected and you aren't even heard? How about realizing that you can't make someone change, yet aren't willing to live without the changes. At what point is enough, enough? I just don't think I can do it anymore...
For some reason G thinks he is super special and superior to all. The laws and rules that would apply to everyone else just don't apply to him, because he is better than everyone else. How is it that we have a so called "budget" that we initially discussed together, yet somehow it doesn't apply to him? It doesn't apply because it was all my idea and he supposedly didn't have any input. We built an amount into our budget for each one of us to spend each month with no questions asked; so why does this amount not apply to him? I didn't spend all of mine and put it into a savings account and somehow that wasn't fair, because I was hoarding money. To appease him I closed my account with thousands and transferred it into joint savings. Well why doesn't it go both ways? How can he spend thousands more and it is ok, yet if I don't spend everything, it is "our" money, not mine to spend however I choose. He has spent 10x more on himself than budgeted in the last few months, yet still doesn't give a shit. He doesn't even have a damn job, yet he can afford to spend a vacation up North skiing all damn weekend! If I added on the guns he purchased as supposed gifts for me, that would magnify it to 50x above his so called amount. However, nothing applies to him. I didn't even want a gun, yet now I supposedly have 2 that were so called "gifts"! It seems that it is his excuse to buy what ever the hell he wants without discussing it with me because it was a "gift".
Another point of contention involves helping around the house. He always felt entitled to leave all the house work to me because he supposedly worked more and made more. Well I worked the same damn amount if not more hours than him, yet he felt entitled to claim that excuse? He acts as if taking out the trash is worse than pulling teeth. So now that he doesn't have the excuse of making more or "supposedly" working more, now the standard he set doesn't apply to him. He still expects me to do all the work around the house and somehow feels justified. He acted like I shot him when I asked that he clean the house...heaven forbid! He just doesn't have time between Facebook and watching tv to fit it in his busy schedule, when I have been working 70-80 hours per week.
I can't live with these double standards anymore! I refuse to be treated like a door mat. I've been wrestling with these feelings for some time now and assumed I was being prideful, but I don't think it is prideful to want a partnership in my marriage where we work together as a team, instead of double standards where I am always at a loss (correct me if I'm wrong). I don't know what to do or how to remediate this situation? I can't make him change, yet I can't live with it anymore. I don't want to leave my home, yet he sure in the hell won't leave even though he can't pay the bills.
Adding to my rant, I am also pissed about the way he treats me and thinks only about himself. He can't seem to get the idea of moving North out of his head, regardless of the cost to me. I have Raynaud's and was told by my doctor that I need to live in a warm climate, yet G doesn't give a damn. He wants to move to one of the coldest states where I would have to stay indoors for over 9 months out of the year due to high risk of frostbite. That doesn't matter though because he wants to move there. In addition, he is considering a job that requires him to move to a tiny town in the middle of no where. He wouldn't even be living there, as he would be traveling to other states all the time. Yet, I am supposed to swoon at this great idea! I am supposed to give up a job and friends I love so I can move to a cold deserted place, and be alone because he would be traveling all the time. Great, sign me up! I told him he is on his own, and I am staying here if he decides to take that job; as he has other options here. The jerk is gone for 4 days and only bothers to call me 2x, once being to make sure that I am going to take 2.5 hours out of my day to pick him up at the airport. I need to leave in 2 hrs and haven't decided if I am going to pick him up. Mr. high and mighty should have considered that before assuming the wife he treats like trash would run to his beckon call. Well this wife might just be fed up and done with all the BS!
For some reason G thinks he is super special and superior to all. The laws and rules that would apply to everyone else just don't apply to him, because he is better than everyone else. How is it that we have a so called "budget" that we initially discussed together, yet somehow it doesn't apply to him? It doesn't apply because it was all my idea and he supposedly didn't have any input. We built an amount into our budget for each one of us to spend each month with no questions asked; so why does this amount not apply to him? I didn't spend all of mine and put it into a savings account and somehow that wasn't fair, because I was hoarding money. To appease him I closed my account with thousands and transferred it into joint savings. Well why doesn't it go both ways? How can he spend thousands more and it is ok, yet if I don't spend everything, it is "our" money, not mine to spend however I choose. He has spent 10x more on himself than budgeted in the last few months, yet still doesn't give a shit. He doesn't even have a damn job, yet he can afford to spend a vacation up North skiing all damn weekend! If I added on the guns he purchased as supposed gifts for me, that would magnify it to 50x above his so called amount. However, nothing applies to him. I didn't even want a gun, yet now I supposedly have 2 that were so called "gifts"! It seems that it is his excuse to buy what ever the hell he wants without discussing it with me because it was a "gift".
Another point of contention involves helping around the house. He always felt entitled to leave all the house work to me because he supposedly worked more and made more. Well I worked the same damn amount if not more hours than him, yet he felt entitled to claim that excuse? He acts as if taking out the trash is worse than pulling teeth. So now that he doesn't have the excuse of making more or "supposedly" working more, now the standard he set doesn't apply to him. He still expects me to do all the work around the house and somehow feels justified. He acted like I shot him when I asked that he clean the house...heaven forbid! He just doesn't have time between Facebook and watching tv to fit it in his busy schedule, when I have been working 70-80 hours per week.
I can't live with these double standards anymore! I refuse to be treated like a door mat. I've been wrestling with these feelings for some time now and assumed I was being prideful, but I don't think it is prideful to want a partnership in my marriage where we work together as a team, instead of double standards where I am always at a loss (correct me if I'm wrong). I don't know what to do or how to remediate this situation? I can't make him change, yet I can't live with it anymore. I don't want to leave my home, yet he sure in the hell won't leave even though he can't pay the bills.
Adding to my rant, I am also pissed about the way he treats me and thinks only about himself. He can't seem to get the idea of moving North out of his head, regardless of the cost to me. I have Raynaud's and was told by my doctor that I need to live in a warm climate, yet G doesn't give a damn. He wants to move to one of the coldest states where I would have to stay indoors for over 9 months out of the year due to high risk of frostbite. That doesn't matter though because he wants to move there. In addition, he is considering a job that requires him to move to a tiny town in the middle of no where. He wouldn't even be living there, as he would be traveling to other states all the time. Yet, I am supposed to swoon at this great idea! I am supposed to give up a job and friends I love so I can move to a cold deserted place, and be alone because he would be traveling all the time. Great, sign me up! I told him he is on his own, and I am staying here if he decides to take that job; as he has other options here. The jerk is gone for 4 days and only bothers to call me 2x, once being to make sure that I am going to take 2.5 hours out of my day to pick him up at the airport. I need to leave in 2 hrs and haven't decided if I am going to pick him up. Mr. high and mighty should have considered that before assuming the wife he treats like trash would run to his beckon call. Well this wife might just be fed up and done with all the BS!
Comments