Ultimate Betrayal

I am still reeling from the events over the last weekend. I can't believe how naive I have been. My entire marriage has been a lie...I should say the last 9 years of my life have been built on lies! From my conversations with G he completely slipped on Sunday and gave me the 100% confirmation I needed to know that he HAS been reading my blog for the last 4 years. His so called dreams were a sham and lie. He used my beliefs and our relationship against me. He said he trusts me, but only as long as he can read my private thoughts without reciprocating. I feel so betrayed. It is not fair for him to read my private journal, lie continuously about doing so, and then use everything he reads against me. In the mean time, NEVER sharing any of his feelings. He is still the same manipulating, lying, controlling person he was when I first met him. How stupid of me to believe people can actually change. I never thought I would face this crossroad in my life, but now I have to decide what I am going to do. I am so pissed!!! Can I really waste any more of my life building a so called lie?
G's actions over the weekend reiterated what he would do in the same situation. He would say "screw you, I don't give a shit how you feel or what you want, I am going to do it my way!". I think it is about time I give him a taste of his own medicine and reciprocate the same attitude. I emailed J and told him I would meet him on Friday if he still plans to come to town. I told G I planned to do this and he was pissed. He wasn't so angry when he could read my blog and about my thoughts and what happens, but now he is in the dark. Looks like he has a lot of trust now.

Comments

brian luenemann said…
wow. that changes a lot of things.
5/20/2009 12:23 AM
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