To go or not to GO?
I had really been struggling with the fact that J wanted to see me. I wasn't sure what to do, but am so glad Gramae (hope you don't mind the repost) said this in regard to the situation:
"You seem very objective about the situation with J and G. What's more important to you- J's need to move on, or G's need to feel secure? You don't know J will move on and find himself a long term relationship after seeing you. It may rekindle something in him, possibly even you. Wouldn't that make your life more complicated than it's already been? Do what your heart tells you to do. If you do decide to meet J- go to G, hold his face in your hands, tell him "You are whom I chose to spend the rest of my life with and whom I love. I would like to see an old friend I haven't seen in years and I need you to be OK with that." Then kiss him, give him the best blow job of his life or screw his brains out, then let him sleep on it. Next morning ask him what his fears are, then address them as reassuringly as you can. If he has valid reasons for not wanting you to go, then re-evaluate what's most important to you."
After reading, the choice was clear- how could I see him? I couldn't risk the visit having the opposite impact I intended. Also, my relationship with G and his need for security is more important. But then, if J moved on it would also make life easier for everyone involved. Thus, I emailed J as very short email stating I didn't think it was a good idea. Here was his response:
"Well I guess I may never see you again then! Take care and I will always think of u as a friend and someone I cared for so much! It's sad that I can't c u at all. I figured we were all mature enough to handle that. Guess not. -J"
Well, after reading that I felt like a complete ass! I read it to G and he thinks we are not immature, just that meeting is inappropriate. In reality, G feels insecure and maybe it is immature? I don't know what to think? J obviously wanted to meet and is bummed. Why did it disappoint him...did he want closure, to say "goodbye", "hope to rekindle"? The latter doesn't make sense if he is moving out of the country and has signed on for an extremely dangerous job.
I was reminded of my situation while watching the last episode of Lost. Juliet told Sawyer she was letting him go, because she saw how he still longed for Kate. Juliet knew Sawyer would choose her as long as she held on and asked him to. She couldn't do that to him, so let him go even though he didn't want to. I feel like a jumbled mess of nerves. I still would like to see him, but will do what G wants.
Why does it have to be such a precarious situation? Why cant' it be as simple as going to say "bye" to an old friend before they leave the country for a super dangerous job? Can I live with myself if I never see J again? What have I been saying in my sleep? G acted weird this morning, like he wanted to talk to me about something, maybe something I said (I can't remember anything I ever talk about in my sleep.)?
"You seem very objective about the situation with J and G. What's more important to you- J's need to move on, or G's need to feel secure? You don't know J will move on and find himself a long term relationship after seeing you. It may rekindle something in him, possibly even you. Wouldn't that make your life more complicated than it's already been? Do what your heart tells you to do. If you do decide to meet J- go to G, hold his face in your hands, tell him "You are whom I chose to spend the rest of my life with and whom I love. I would like to see an old friend I haven't seen in years and I need you to be OK with that." Then kiss him, give him the best blow job of his life or screw his brains out, then let him sleep on it. Next morning ask him what his fears are, then address them as reassuringly as you can. If he has valid reasons for not wanting you to go, then re-evaluate what's most important to you."
After reading, the choice was clear- how could I see him? I couldn't risk the visit having the opposite impact I intended. Also, my relationship with G and his need for security is more important. But then, if J moved on it would also make life easier for everyone involved. Thus, I emailed J as very short email stating I didn't think it was a good idea. Here was his response:
"Well I guess I may never see you again then! Take care and I will always think of u as a friend and someone I cared for so much! It's sad that I can't c u at all. I figured we were all mature enough to handle that. Guess not. -J"
Well, after reading that I felt like a complete ass! I read it to G and he thinks we are not immature, just that meeting is inappropriate. In reality, G feels insecure and maybe it is immature? I don't know what to think? J obviously wanted to meet and is bummed. Why did it disappoint him...did he want closure, to say "goodbye", "hope to rekindle"? The latter doesn't make sense if he is moving out of the country and has signed on for an extremely dangerous job.
I was reminded of my situation while watching the last episode of Lost. Juliet told Sawyer she was letting him go, because she saw how he still longed for Kate. Juliet knew Sawyer would choose her as long as she held on and asked him to. She couldn't do that to him, so let him go even though he didn't want to. I feel like a jumbled mess of nerves. I still would like to see him, but will do what G wants.
Why does it have to be such a precarious situation? Why cant' it be as simple as going to say "bye" to an old friend before they leave the country for a super dangerous job? Can I live with myself if I never see J again? What have I been saying in my sleep? G acted weird this morning, like he wanted to talk to me about something, maybe something I said (I can't remember anything I ever talk about in my sleep.)?
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