Sweet Dreams
I must start off by saying that I feel so much better than I did a few weeks ago. The muscle weakness has mainly subsided, I don't wake up extremely sore anymore, and I seem to have gained some energy. The Dr. put me on 5 different supplements, one being phosphatidyl serine. I must say that this is truly an amazing drug and works better than anything I've ever tried in my life! It supposedly helps restore the circadian rhythm, so I have energy during the day and can fall asleep at night instead of being wide awake, when I am really exhausted. I didn't realize the effectiveness until a day after I forgot to take it. I was wondering why I felt so tired all day and even had to take a nap, then low and behold, I was wide awake all night! Next day I took it, without realizing the amazing impact, and I felt fine.
Last Thursday I did have a bit of a scare. I was at my neighbors and felt pain in my side that progressively got worse, until I went from a 4 level of pain to 10 in less than 5 minutes. I tried to find G, but couldn't and then had to lie in the fetal position on the couch. I was in excruciating pain and could not move from the fetal position. Thankfully my neighbors found G and they took me home. I went in for an ultrasound on Friday, fearing the endometriosis may have eaten through my bladder, since I was still in pain (it is severe on my bladder, I guess). I have such an awesome doctor. She called me at 6:30 pm on Friday and said they found some large ovarian cysts on my right ovary. The pain was probably a ruptured cyst. She gave me her personal cell and told me to call if I needed her to call in some strong drugs. Thankfully, the pain hasn't returned! The last time I had a ruptured cyst was when I was 16 and they hospitalized me for 2 days.
I've noticed an interesting side effect of the phosphatidyl serine, vivid dreams every night! Usually I can't remember my dreams, but they seem so real now. Last night I had one about J. He was living in a huge old house with a bunch of people. I met him there because he wanted to ask me several questions about how our relationship ended. There were 3 girls he lived with that seemed jealous he was talking to me. I felt jealous of these other girls, but couldn't understand what I ever saw in him. This is one of the few dreams that could actually hold some truth. I honestly think I am over him now. He told me that he has been dating a girl for 2 years and is thinking of proposing. I am happy for him and hope he has found someone who will treat him well. He messaged me on FB yesterday, but I was not home. He has been telling me this alot lately: "it looks like you are really happy, I'm so happy for you". I would say at least 3 times in the last month or so. Is he wanting me to tell him otherwise?
On June 8th I also had an interesting dream, that my 19 year old sister was pregnant, which I told her about. She is dating this guy, our family is not overly enthused about who is 26. He has never had a serious relationship and doesn't want one. While talking to my dad two days ago, he asks if I want to talk to my sister. I said sure. I was about ready to let her go when she said, "I have to tell you something, but I am afraid to tell you". She didn't tell me why she was afraid and I blurted...you are pregnant! She said "yes" and thinks she is about 1 month along. She said she was using the "natural family planning method", and I asked if she was "planning" for a family. She has always been so irresponsible and this comes as a total shock to the other shockers I heard about in June. Thankfully she can finish her cooking school before she has the baby. She currently lives with my parents and is thinking of moving in with the dad, if they can find an apartment together. I don't know what to say, other than I am in complete shock!!! I shouldn't be, and will no longer be surprised about anything she does. Out of my siblings, she should be the most stable, as she had to live through the least dysfunction, yet she is totally screwed up. She did find out that she hasn't contracted an STD from her affair w/ a married man (great news!). She said she isn't ready for marriage because she is too young, but she is old enough to have unprotected sex with various men, including those who are married? Thank God I studied teen brain development, so I understand her irrational thought processes. G and I see her really struggling in life. I just have to say that life is certainly not fair! Although, I don't really expect it to be, but my sister who is 8 years younger than me is having a baby and my brother who is 2 years younger has one child and one on the way. I just can't envision her pregnant. I purchased tickets to go home for Christmas yesterday. I really have to see this I think for it to set in. I thought other people had kids w/o being in a committed relationship, not my sister. I guess I remain traditional when it comes to my family. I expect it from the rest of the world. Why didn't she take my dream as a warning to be careful?
Good news about the adoption. G called and talked to them and they said our home study would be resubmitted so we could adopt from 0-9 years old instead of just 0-3. They also agreed to refund 1/2 of our home study fees. He said it sounded like they might discount our adoption fees if we chose to go through their agency. I'm not sure I want to take that risk.
Last Thursday I did have a bit of a scare. I was at my neighbors and felt pain in my side that progressively got worse, until I went from a 4 level of pain to 10 in less than 5 minutes. I tried to find G, but couldn't and then had to lie in the fetal position on the couch. I was in excruciating pain and could not move from the fetal position. Thankfully my neighbors found G and they took me home. I went in for an ultrasound on Friday, fearing the endometriosis may have eaten through my bladder, since I was still in pain (it is severe on my bladder, I guess). I have such an awesome doctor. She called me at 6:30 pm on Friday and said they found some large ovarian cysts on my right ovary. The pain was probably a ruptured cyst. She gave me her personal cell and told me to call if I needed her to call in some strong drugs. Thankfully, the pain hasn't returned! The last time I had a ruptured cyst was when I was 16 and they hospitalized me for 2 days.
I've noticed an interesting side effect of the phosphatidyl serine, vivid dreams every night! Usually I can't remember my dreams, but they seem so real now. Last night I had one about J. He was living in a huge old house with a bunch of people. I met him there because he wanted to ask me several questions about how our relationship ended. There were 3 girls he lived with that seemed jealous he was talking to me. I felt jealous of these other girls, but couldn't understand what I ever saw in him. This is one of the few dreams that could actually hold some truth. I honestly think I am over him now. He told me that he has been dating a girl for 2 years and is thinking of proposing. I am happy for him and hope he has found someone who will treat him well. He messaged me on FB yesterday, but I was not home. He has been telling me this alot lately: "it looks like you are really happy, I'm so happy for you". I would say at least 3 times in the last month or so. Is he wanting me to tell him otherwise?
On June 8th I also had an interesting dream, that my 19 year old sister was pregnant, which I told her about. She is dating this guy, our family is not overly enthused about who is 26. He has never had a serious relationship and doesn't want one. While talking to my dad two days ago, he asks if I want to talk to my sister. I said sure. I was about ready to let her go when she said, "I have to tell you something, but I am afraid to tell you". She didn't tell me why she was afraid and I blurted...you are pregnant! She said "yes" and thinks she is about 1 month along. She said she was using the "natural family planning method", and I asked if she was "planning" for a family. She has always been so irresponsible and this comes as a total shock to the other shockers I heard about in June. Thankfully she can finish her cooking school before she has the baby. She currently lives with my parents and is thinking of moving in with the dad, if they can find an apartment together. I don't know what to say, other than I am in complete shock!!! I shouldn't be, and will no longer be surprised about anything she does. Out of my siblings, she should be the most stable, as she had to live through the least dysfunction, yet she is totally screwed up. She did find out that she hasn't contracted an STD from her affair w/ a married man (great news!). She said she isn't ready for marriage because she is too young, but she is old enough to have unprotected sex with various men, including those who are married? Thank God I studied teen brain development, so I understand her irrational thought processes. G and I see her really struggling in life. I just have to say that life is certainly not fair! Although, I don't really expect it to be, but my sister who is 8 years younger than me is having a baby and my brother who is 2 years younger has one child and one on the way. I just can't envision her pregnant. I purchased tickets to go home for Christmas yesterday. I really have to see this I think for it to set in. I thought other people had kids w/o being in a committed relationship, not my sister. I guess I remain traditional when it comes to my family. I expect it from the rest of the world. Why didn't she take my dream as a warning to be careful?
Good news about the adoption. G called and talked to them and they said our home study would be resubmitted so we could adopt from 0-9 years old instead of just 0-3. They also agreed to refund 1/2 of our home study fees. He said it sounded like they might discount our adoption fees if we chose to go through their agency. I'm not sure I want to take that risk.
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