Turning Back Time

After 8 years I finally apologized to my friend for being a terrible friend. I had a disturbing dream about her a few weeks ago, which highlighted how I really perceived her. In high school she became pregnant and told me she wanted to have an abortion. She could not legally have an abortion without her parent's consent, yet she found a doctor to perform the procedure. I begged her to not go through with killing an innocent life and told her she would regret her decision for the rest of her life. Little did I know that I would regret my decision to be what I considered a "good" friend at the time. Because I couldn't change her mind I decided to support her by helping her get the money to pay the doctor and going with her. I will never forget the trauma I experienced when I heard the machine chopping up her innocent child. Afterwards the doctor gave her birth control pills and told her to abstain from sex for at least 2 weeks. Well she met a new guy a few days earlier and couldn't even wait a week. I felt so disgusted that she just went through such a trauma and couldn't even stop having random sex for one week. Looking back she was probably trying to cope, and it wasn't my place to judge. I just couldn't watch my friend, whom I cared so much for, self destruct. She now has two kids and is single. I told her she is so fortunate for not ever having to know what it is like not being able to conceive. I asked her to forgive me for not standing up for what I knew was right all those years ago. I should have went to her parents and told them the truth. I know they would have supported her and helped her take care of the baby, after their initial shock. I still can't look at her parents because I feel so guilty. I don't know if she ever told them, but I should have even if it meant the end of our friendship. A life is so much more important that worrying about hurting someones feelings. Unfortunately we can't turn back time, but can choose to make amends with the past and move forward.

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