Recollections of the Past

A few days ago I was reminded of how many times I "almost" secretly met with J with the intention of determining whether or not to end my marriage. The primary reason letting J go from my life was so difficult involved all the "ironic" events that brought us together and occurred while we were together. I believe divine intervention also occurred to keep us apart on several occasions when we planned to meet. I can remember at least 3 examples:

1. While in college he planned to drive through my town on his way home from school. We talked the night before and had everything planned, then the next day he didn't call. I didn't hear from him for over 1.5 months! I came to find out his orders were switched as he was leaving which placed him in a remote location for the 1.5 months, and he never did get to go home.
2. Again, on another trip home he planned to take a 4 hour detour to see me. The morning he left he instant messenged me stating he was leaving and wanted me to call him so we could meet since I recently changed my phone number. As I literally walked to my computer to read the message my computer crashed. I didn't even find out until after he arrived home (4 hours away) that he was less than 5 miles from my house.
3. G and I planned a trip to CA and in my head I thought about ways to meet J while there. When we seriously considered making plans for a trip G had a series of dreams highlighting everything (in more detail than I ever told anyone) that occurred between J and I in almost a one year span including the thoughts in my head to meet with J and what would happen during that meeting. How freaky!

Thus, J and I never did meet. I think the last time I saw him was about 4 years ago. I think I have clear indications that I am not supposed to be with J.

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