Let Me Be ME!

I'm trying to accomplish too many things at once!!!! Maybe I'm trying to over work myself to block out life...I honestly don't know, but I am too busy. I told G I thought he should move out and he became quite upset/mad. He said if one of us moves out then it is over and a divorce is imminent. I told him I would not tolerate being lied to and would separate if necessary. I don't know if he got the point, but he has been much nicer (for the most part), during the last few weeks. I don't know if his reaction fit into any of the categories suggested in the comment section of my last post? I feel like he cared and was shocked I would suggest such a thing. I was drinking, so I can't recall everything clearly. I did tell him that if he ever feels like he needs to cheat, then to just tell me (like it's that easy); because I don't want to be in a one sided relationship. I told him I don't want him to be here if he doesn't want to be and would rather he just leave if he ever feels that way. He hasn't left yet, although I may only see him for a few hours each day.
I think I am too busy to really process everything going on right now. I don't know if I am intentionally making myself busy, or not willing to take a stand to block out the unimportant things? I actually don't feel like I have a choice in how busy I am. As a person who wants to finish things I start and follow through, I just can't quit! I am working full time, going to school part time, have to put in several hours per week at a school, am studying for the equivalent of the state board exams in less than 1.5 weeks, have to prepare and teach several lessons next week, am preparing for my aunt and uncle to come in 2 weeks, and am trying to get ready for my vacation that is 1 day after my vacation. A few nights last week I left at 7:30 am and didn't get home until after 9:30 pm. School is what has been pushing me over the edge. I stopped volunteering at church, because I don't have time. I have friends who want to do stuff with me, but honestly my schedule is completely booked through January now! If that isn't crazy enough...I'm contemplating working full time at my job while I complete my student teaching (either 9 weeks as a full time teacher, or 18 weeks half time). I would rather just get it over with in 9 weeks, but I could loose my job as a result. If I drag it out for 18 weeks then I will be insanely busy and won't have a life for 5 months! I keep telling myself it will be over soon, but can I make it that long? Just getting through my student teaching will give me great job security and something to fall back on. I've been neglecting my health and eating habits again. I'm extremely exhausted all the time. I have been drinking a few times a week now, which used to be less than 2 times per month or not at all.
I keep telling myself I don't care if I have kids, but there is an underlying desire I can't seem to loose. I was looking at pictures of my cousins new baby today and just broke down. I feel like part of me is missing by not being able to have children. The instinct is so strong! I wish it would go away. I know life isn't fair, but it seems so cruel. Whenever we meet new people they ask when we are going to have kids and I have to retell the fact that I'm defective all over again.
I've been going to the gym 2x per week since February (I think?) and am starting to really build muscle. I don't really want big arms, but feel they are getting that way. I am proud that I can lift 1/2 or 2/3 of the weight many guys more than 2x's my size can. I'm getting a little annoyed though. I always wear my wedding ring to the gym, even though it gives me callouses, but a few guys keep talking to me every time I go. I try to avoid them and just get through my workout, but it doesn't work! I am nice to them, but wondering what their motives may be? If it is strictly friendly, with no motives, then fine. If G would just get his ass to the gym, then I don't think it would be an issue.