Daily Torment
I feel so confused right now. I've been seeing an acupuncturist since October. She is a personal friend and in school for acupuncture. I feel that she has done a great job thus far. However, she will no longer be able to offer me treatment. I was excited because I found an acupuncturist on the list of providers covered by my insurance. She specializes in fertility issues. I gave her my insurance info and she informed me today that my insurance will not cover any acupuncture services. I am so bummed! I will now have to pay over $90 per treatment 2x/week, versus the $15-$35 I was paying before.
My friend recommended I see a naturopathic doctor instead. My insurance doesn't cover them either and they charge $250+ per appointment. I can't afford to pay so much for services. I have been making great progress especially the last 3 months, with a significant decrease in pain. I feel like all my progress will now be lost.
I said before that I would not spend thousands on treatments to conceive and I stick by my mentality. I would rather put the $$$ towards an adoption. We seriously started looking into adoption agencies this week and were astounded by the costs, with no guarantee of completing an adoption. We just put most of our savings towards our mortgage so we could pay it off in the next 2 years. Adoption requires a full payment of $30-40k and up to $80k with no guarantee of anything! If not selected in 2 years by a birth mother, then a significant amount of the $$ is lost and you have to start all over again. If the birth mother changes her mind after selecting a family, they also loose everything. The best chance is finding someone who wants to give their infant up for adoption. However, even after paying all their expenses they can change their mind at any time up until 72 hours after the adoption is finalized. I've always considered adoption a back up plan, but now it seems so out of reach and complicated.
I feel like screaming "life isn't fair", when I know it isn't fair. If I could get pregnant it would cost less than $500 in medical bills. I could then afford to quit my job and be a stay at mom for a few years. With my other two options: adoption and infertility treatments we would have to use our "rainy day fund" or save for another few years. I wish people who have children realized how easy they have it. My friend who has two kids already was complaining the other day that she has been trying for almost a year now and can't get pregnant. I would be happy with one child, and wouldn't complain to someone who has been trying for over 4 years with no children. I also had a mother on my caseload, when I used to work for Child Protective Services, who had 12 kids removed and was pregnant again. All the kids were drug exposed and she could still get pregnant. She didn't even want her kids or take any measures to take care of herself. I don't understand how life can be so cruel!
Even with adoption or surrogacy (which can be done in India for under $15k) I will still loose on the life I want for my child. I won't be able to protect them from the terrible effects of vaccines, I can't breast feed which significantly strengthens an infants immune system, or control the environmental effects of being in the womb. Stressed mothers can leach hormones from their babies, leaving the infant with lifelong hormone issues as a result! Everything is so delicate and I will probably have to give up control of everything I wanted to control as a parent. It is all so depressing.
My friend recommended I see a naturopathic doctor instead. My insurance doesn't cover them either and they charge $250+ per appointment. I can't afford to pay so much for services. I have been making great progress especially the last 3 months, with a significant decrease in pain. I feel like all my progress will now be lost.
I said before that I would not spend thousands on treatments to conceive and I stick by my mentality. I would rather put the $$$ towards an adoption. We seriously started looking into adoption agencies this week and were astounded by the costs, with no guarantee of completing an adoption. We just put most of our savings towards our mortgage so we could pay it off in the next 2 years. Adoption requires a full payment of $30-40k and up to $80k with no guarantee of anything! If not selected in 2 years by a birth mother, then a significant amount of the $$ is lost and you have to start all over again. If the birth mother changes her mind after selecting a family, they also loose everything. The best chance is finding someone who wants to give their infant up for adoption. However, even after paying all their expenses they can change their mind at any time up until 72 hours after the adoption is finalized. I've always considered adoption a back up plan, but now it seems so out of reach and complicated.
I feel like screaming "life isn't fair", when I know it isn't fair. If I could get pregnant it would cost less than $500 in medical bills. I could then afford to quit my job and be a stay at mom for a few years. With my other two options: adoption and infertility treatments we would have to use our "rainy day fund" or save for another few years. I wish people who have children realized how easy they have it. My friend who has two kids already was complaining the other day that she has been trying for almost a year now and can't get pregnant. I would be happy with one child, and wouldn't complain to someone who has been trying for over 4 years with no children. I also had a mother on my caseload, when I used to work for Child Protective Services, who had 12 kids removed and was pregnant again. All the kids were drug exposed and she could still get pregnant. She didn't even want her kids or take any measures to take care of herself. I don't understand how life can be so cruel!
Even with adoption or surrogacy (which can be done in India for under $15k) I will still loose on the life I want for my child. I won't be able to protect them from the terrible effects of vaccines, I can't breast feed which significantly strengthens an infants immune system, or control the environmental effects of being in the womb. Stressed mothers can leach hormones from their babies, leaving the infant with lifelong hormone issues as a result! Everything is so delicate and I will probably have to give up control of everything I wanted to control as a parent. It is all so depressing.
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