Can I Make it on My Own?
I must set the record straight that nothing ever happened with J (sorry if I mislead anyone). I never talked to him or made plans to see him. In the midst of my paranoia I was attempting to finally determine if G reads my online journal. If he did I'm sure I would have heard something from him, but this week was actually quite the opposite!
Earlier in the week G told me his company might send him to ID for a 2 year job, which may turn into a permanent position! For some reason I wasn't upset at all. We actually dreamed of living in ID or WA early in our relationship, but after college we could not support ourselves off the low salaries in the area. It would be an awesome opportunity and we would only be a 6 hour drive from our families. I could possibly have the lake house I always dreamed of or pursue my Master's degree in SLP (I couldn't have both). As a SLP I could easily support both G and I (or myself) in my hometown, plus I would have summers off. It would be amazing, but the closest program is over 60 miles away from me now and I would have to drive through the worst possible traffic the entire distance. In WA we could compromise on distance so I would only have to drive 15 miles. If I started the program we would have to make at least a 3 year commitment to live in the area, which seems impossible to G to do; but, he insists he really wants me to pursue my Master's. Now for the catch... G would have to move to ID and I would stay in our current location for a minimum of 6 months...alone! To avoid capital gains and due to the slowing real estate market we have to wait until at least December to sell, plus I'm not willing to quit my job after only 8 months. I want to have at least one year in my position, which could greatly enhance the possibility of being accepted into grad school since I am essentially doing everything a SLP would do anyway.
This morning G woke up in tears and told me he dreamed of living in ID apart from me. He said he was only gone for one day and missed me so much. I thought it was so cute, and possibly a hopeful sign that I won't have to be concerned about other "options" he might pursue if we do live apart.
The thought of the great opportunity scares me, because I don't know if I could do everything on my own? If I need help I would have to ask my neighbors, which I hate doing. I wonder if I would be strong enough to avoid temptation (J)? Also, if I grew accustomed to living without G, would it make it that much easier to leave him? I can review the ideal situation a million times in my head, but I don't think G and I are prepared for the challenges or opportunities attached to living apart.
Yay, I'm so excited to be going home for 16 days...only 5 days left!
Earlier in the week G told me his company might send him to ID for a 2 year job, which may turn into a permanent position! For some reason I wasn't upset at all. We actually dreamed of living in ID or WA early in our relationship, but after college we could not support ourselves off the low salaries in the area. It would be an awesome opportunity and we would only be a 6 hour drive from our families. I could possibly have the lake house I always dreamed of or pursue my Master's degree in SLP (I couldn't have both). As a SLP I could easily support both G and I (or myself) in my hometown, plus I would have summers off. It would be amazing, but the closest program is over 60 miles away from me now and I would have to drive through the worst possible traffic the entire distance. In WA we could compromise on distance so I would only have to drive 15 miles. If I started the program we would have to make at least a 3 year commitment to live in the area, which seems impossible to G to do; but, he insists he really wants me to pursue my Master's. Now for the catch... G would have to move to ID and I would stay in our current location for a minimum of 6 months...alone! To avoid capital gains and due to the slowing real estate market we have to wait until at least December to sell, plus I'm not willing to quit my job after only 8 months. I want to have at least one year in my position, which could greatly enhance the possibility of being accepted into grad school since I am essentially doing everything a SLP would do anyway.
This morning G woke up in tears and told me he dreamed of living in ID apart from me. He said he was only gone for one day and missed me so much. I thought it was so cute, and possibly a hopeful sign that I won't have to be concerned about other "options" he might pursue if we do live apart.
The thought of the great opportunity scares me, because I don't know if I could do everything on my own? If I need help I would have to ask my neighbors, which I hate doing. I wonder if I would be strong enough to avoid temptation (J)? Also, if I grew accustomed to living without G, would it make it that much easier to leave him? I can review the ideal situation a million times in my head, but I don't think G and I are prepared for the challenges or opportunities attached to living apart.
Yay, I'm so excited to be going home for 16 days...only 5 days left!
Comments