The Up Side of Illness

Nonetheless, I have been sick with a cold and sinus infection since Saturday. Because I recently had sinus surgery it is that much more painful. I was finally able to sleep for a few hours last night, but think I may be getting bronchitis since my inhaler hasn't been working for the last two days (just one full breath would be nice). I've been to the doctor at least 10 times this year... already! I joke that G should take out a nice life insurance policy on me (I know I shouldn't joke, but he does have a big insurance policy). I can't believe what my doctors told me when I was in 4th grade, that "you will never live a normal life". Dang...if a girl could catch a break!


So due to my illness I've taken the last 3 days off work. This means I will be able to take one less week of vacation to MT this summer :( On the upside of illness, I've been able to catch up on my school work a little over the last 2 days. My goal was 2 assignments/day and I've completed 5 so far in the last 3 days.


Graeme (blog therapy) made me think about being in college again. When in college I was a complete physical and emotional mess. Oddly enough, my Health and Healing professor was also my counselor- a little awkward. I was an unbelievable emotional wreck and I think I spent 95% of my counseling sessions crying. At this time I was suicidally depressed, G was abusive and controlling emotionally and physically, I was away from my family, taking 18+ college credits/semester, thinking about leaving G for J, in unbearable physical pain, G and I separated due to a restraining order from him threatening to kill me, and I found out I had "abnormal growths on my brain" from a CT scan- if that isn't enough stress! I thought about emailing him today to let him know I am in a much better place. He was super nice and referred me to a book that made a huge difference in pain management. I'm not sure if he is still teaching, but I may have to look him up when I find time. Although I may feel hopeless at times, nothing can compare to college. My emotional state has improved drastically!

I'm going to be so sad when my little girls leave for new homes. They are so precious and have such adorable and lovable personalities. I get sad every time someone calls me who is interested in purchasing one. I may subconsciously be sabotaging their sale. I really would not cry if I didn't sell them, but I can't have 4 dogs. I hope their buyers will keep in contact with me and bring them over for play dates with their mommy and daddy. I just love them to death. They may mean the end to my dog breeding because I get too attached.

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