I Don't Want to do it Anymore!
A male coworker said it all today...."I need to get a wife because I am so sick of doing everything myself (in reference to household chores, shopping, bills, etc)". I think men only want to get married to use and abuse women. They want someone to take care of them and a sex partner with no strings attached. Let me know if I am wrong and there are some decent men alive.
I am so sick of being used in my marital relationship. I'm to the point I think I'm going to explode. I will describe my evening (typical of most evenings): arrive home at 5 pm, spouse napping on the couch, since he arrived home at 3:30. I cook dinner, clean the kitchen and rest of house, unload and reload dishwasher, fold and put away clothes, pay bills/update budget, while he talks on the phone for 1.5 hours. I ask spouse if he wants to go to gym, says no because he is busy on computer, but really watching dumb TV show. Get in argument about him not doing anything around the house and being lazy. We decided yesterday we would go to the gym, but he made up several excuses and now says it is too late to even go for a jog. He also said he would start helping more once I started working full time, what a joke! I'm sorry to enlighten men, but it is 2005, not 1955, women do not exist to serve lazy ass men!
The more I think about it, the better a NSA relationship sounds because I am not a F***king maid or sex partner. I would take care of myself only and the man would have to get his shit together and take care of himself. I'm thinking of not doing anything at all for an entire week nor saying a single word about what needs to be done. I'm not sure if I can do it, because I will probably be pulling out my hair after two days because I can't stand living in a mess. I also can't stand sitting on my ass all the time like a lazy pig waiting for the world to come to me. I will probably have to refrain from coming home until 9 or 10 so I don't go insane in the process. I'm just so frustrated!
I am so sick of being used in my marital relationship. I'm to the point I think I'm going to explode. I will describe my evening (typical of most evenings): arrive home at 5 pm, spouse napping on the couch, since he arrived home at 3:30. I cook dinner, clean the kitchen and rest of house, unload and reload dishwasher, fold and put away clothes, pay bills/update budget, while he talks on the phone for 1.5 hours. I ask spouse if he wants to go to gym, says no because he is busy on computer, but really watching dumb TV show. Get in argument about him not doing anything around the house and being lazy. We decided yesterday we would go to the gym, but he made up several excuses and now says it is too late to even go for a jog. He also said he would start helping more once I started working full time, what a joke! I'm sorry to enlighten men, but it is 2005, not 1955, women do not exist to serve lazy ass men!
The more I think about it, the better a NSA relationship sounds because I am not a F***king maid or sex partner. I would take care of myself only and the man would have to get his shit together and take care of himself. I'm thinking of not doing anything at all for an entire week nor saying a single word about what needs to be done. I'm not sure if I can do it, because I will probably be pulling out my hair after two days because I can't stand living in a mess. I also can't stand sitting on my ass all the time like a lazy pig waiting for the world to come to me. I will probably have to refrain from coming home until 9 or 10 so I don't go insane in the process. I'm just so frustrated!
Comments
He didn't say he wanted someone to do EVERYTHING for him, he said he wanted to someone to SHARE the chores.
The other poster's right. Sounds like your husband's depressed or something.
Sadly, arguing about these things never helps. Relationship counselling is probably the best option.
Your coworker’s comment reveals something more systemic: a cultural imprint where “wife” is equated with “caretaker,” and many men haven’t been taught to share the load—or to even see the load. And then they wonder why women are pulling away, emotionally shutting down, or fantasizing about independence. It’s not because women are cold or ungrateful—it’s because we’re tired of living as unpaid caregivers, emotional processors, personal assistants, and yes, expected sex partners.
This isn’t about men being inherently bad—it’s about unhealed societal conditioning. But you’re right to question whether there are decent men out there, because until someone demonstrates accountability, respect, and reciprocity, hope can feel like a lie.
Your idea of not doing anything for a week is powerful. Not as a punishment, but as a mirror. Sometimes stepping back is the only way to show someone what you’ve been doing all along. Let the silence speak. Let the undone dishes and unpaid bills highlight the imbalance. Not because you’re giving up—but because you’re reclaiming your worth.
If you’re considering this kind of pause, make it sacred. Not a retreat from yourself, but a return to yourself. You deserve partnership, not servitude. And if that means walking alone until someone can meet you with open hands and a shared load, so be it. That is not failure. That is sovereignty.
You’re not crazy.
You’re not dramatic.
You’re awakening.
And you’re allowed to stop doing what was never yours to carry in the first place.