Miss (L)ed

I still miss J so much! I still think about him all the time and still wonder what it could have been like if we received another chance. I wish I could leave the hell I am living in to find out, but fear the repercussions of my actions. I feel like I am doomed to live a life of misery. I hate my life, and don't even know why it is worth living. I feel like I am continually wandering blindfolded though life, only walking the opposite direction of the happiness I seek closer to the depths of despair. I don't feel like I have anything to look forward to in this life. I wonder if I will ever find contentment. Anytime I think something may make me happy, I only feel more miserable when I obtain it. I can't find contentment within myself and wish I knew how. I know I can't expect others or things to bring me happiness.

Comments

Anonymous said…
stop thinking about whoos me and think about what you can and will have once you stop thinking about you,you might not be happy now but if you just stop pidding yourself you will see happiness is right in front of you i know ive been there and been back believe me think about where you can go and dont stop till you get there.
8/28/2005 1:45 PM
Searching for the Answers... said…
You make a great point! I know I dwell on the past but am slowly makiing progress forward. I don't think many people can truly understand the feelings I have. I wonder if I am bipolar sometimes because I feel so hopless and then happy the next day. I wish I knew the road to happiness but must take one day at a time.
9/05/2005 8:35 PM
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Think Happy Thoughts....?

I feel the temptation slowly creeping in AGAIN! I don't believe in divorce, thus despite my current relational problems I must try to make the best with what I have. I know I've been warned in the past to stop thinking outside the box (per say about my marriage). I can't change anyone but myself and need to accept those around me for who they are (ie. G). By the way, he did fix my tire yesterday. I need to focus on the good instead of dwelling on the negative and past. Even though I may not have been of a sane persona when I decided to marry G at the spur of a moment, I think I need to live with my mistake and make the best with what I have. The problem arises, because I am SELFISH, and only looking out for my own selfish desires, not the greater good of humanity. I believe I can choose to work with God's plan or against it, and in the end his plan will reign anyways with or without me. Why in the hell must I have such a strong subconscious? I know my life would be so d...
Read more

Do Soul Mates Really Exist?

Image
I would love to get some other opinions on the topic of soul mates... Do you think they exist? Do we just have one or can we have several? Are you with yours? If so is it happily ever after? Did you loose yours like me? What is your story? Maybe this can provide insight to people out there who feel lost in a sea of love or regret. I've always heard the term "soul mate", but never any real stories about the topic. Please respond in the comments section. Thanks!!!
Read more

What Color Should You Be???

Image
Your Blog Should Be Green Your blog is smart and thoughtful - not a lot of fluff. You enjoy a good discussion, especially if it involves picking apart ideas. However, you tend to get easily annoyed by any thoughtless comments in your blog. What Color Should Your Blog or Journal Be?
Read more