Searching for the Answers...

I have not heard back from the case worker yet, but expect to hear tomorrow. I anticipate that she may tell us we need to complete the PS-MAPP training classes before we can move ahead and make what they would deem, an informed decision. I am already familiar w/ the information in the classes, but G is not. Since the classes are 12 weeks long for 3 hours a week, G said he may not make all the classes. I feel this is vital to him understanding the process and hope he will make them his first priority. I talked with my mom today and informed her that we planned to move forward with the process. She said she was supportive and could not understand her friends reaction. I told her the way she wrote the email made it sound as if that was her personal opinion as well, since she never conveyed or said she was supportive until today. I made it clear that we would change our guardianship plan if needed so that our child would be placed in a loving and supportive home if something were to happe...

After a lot of prayer, thought, and conviction, G and I both came to the same conclusion regarding the possible adoption of the 8 year old girl. We have decided to move forward. I realize we may not even be chosen or go all the way, but we can't remain stagnant any longer. In this situation I had to ask myself, despite all I've been told, "what would Jesus do?" Unequivocally , he would give this child a chance and not let her remain in and age out of foster care; he would love her. I realize my life may become what some would construe as a "living hell", however, I am not living for this life, nor my own comfort here. I refuse to stand back and cower in fear of the "what ifs" that could eat one alive. I'm sorry if some may call me stupid or naive, but I can live with that. I know the statistics and risks, but again, I choose to live in faith, that this child was placed in our path for a reason. Regardless of the outcome, we have already grown e...

I've been thinking about this post for the last 5 days and haven't been able to steal away to write. On Tuesday, we were contacted by an agency that said they read our home study and have a child they feel we would be great candidates to adopt. I felt my heart flutter with excitement as I dreamed of the possibilities, as this was the exact scenario I had dreamed of and prayed for...so I thought. I emailed the case worker back to get more info. I couldn't wait to get home to see if she responded back. As I opened the attachment I had not even the faintest idea of the immense dilemma we would face. My immediate response was, "How could this be? Really? (tears) We are considered good candidates? How?, (tears & more tears), How?, This wasn't what I was expecting. How can life be so unfair?, No, no, not in a million years!". I then forwarded the message on to G and asked what he thought, stating "I say "no""! I assumed he would respond the s...

I may finally have a break from my hectic schedule at work. I didn't get assigned any evaluations this week, although my schedule is still full for next week. I've been working so much I don't have time to make it to the gym. I really need to get there, as I've gained 4lbs in the last 10 days. I am freaking out about this, as I will be on my way to 200lbs if this keeps up. I know the main reason relates to the medications I've been put on and my hormone imbalances. I hope things start to level off soon, because I would hate to have to buy new, bigger, clothes. I'm also distressed, because no one seems to care. They think I look thin or normal. I don't want to look back a year from now and wonder how I gained 50 lbs? I ordered some different herbs yesterday that are supposedly supposed to help with water retention and metabolism. I will see if they have any impact. I honestly think I get myself into trouble sometimes because I am bored with my life. I then s...

I must start off by saying that I feel so much better than I did a few weeks ago. The muscle weakness has mainly subsided, I don't wake up extremely sore anymore, and I seem to have gained some energy. The Dr. put me on 5 different supplements, one being phosphatidyl serine . I must say that this is truly an amazing drug and works better than anything I've ever tried in my life! It supposedly helps restore the circadian rhythm, so I have energy during the day and can fall asleep at night instead of being wide awake, when I am really exhausted . I didn't realize the effectiveness until a day after I forgot to take it. I was wondering why I felt so tired all day and even had to take a nap, then low and behold, I was wide awake all night! Next day I took it, without realizing the amazing impact, and I felt fine. Last Thursday I did have a bit of a scare. I was at my neighbors and felt pain in my side that progressively got worse, until I went from a 4 level of pain to 10 in l...