Invocation

Something is missing in my relationship with my husband; I just don't feel passionate towards him. I want the feelings to exist, but they don't. I try to be emotionally present but I'm not sure I know how. The lack of passion becomes especially problematic while we make love. I don't even feel as if I am present and it takes me forever to even kind of get in the mood. I remember a time when I didn't have to "try" to make love or be affectionate, now it seems to be one of my biggest challenges. For some reason I can't find the words to express my thoughts right now. I love G but not the way I want to love my spouse. I used to believe I could choose to love someone, but I now know I can't. I guess on another level I may be subconsciously sabotaging my full expression of love towards G. I just don't know! I continue to have dreams of J, even though I refrain from thinking of him for most of the day. G would like me to tell him, but he feels so insecure right now I don't want to add to his pain. If I do tell him I had a dream of J he becomes paranoid asking if I want to leave and if I really want to be with him. I guess I would too. I feel terrible for putting him in such a position. I don't think I could stay in a relationship where my spouse was not emotionally present, it would be too painful.

Comments

Anonymous said…
The longer you are married the more you must try/work at ensuring passion stays in a marriage. Don't give up and fall into the brother complex! Try and find ways to increase the passion, communicate to your spouse about what you need and the passion you desire.
My husband and I have been married for over 20 years, we struggled for years with passion and found that special something- it took a long time after our "honeymoon passion" was lost but it was worth every second that it was lost. The main thing is we found something that worked for us and not just myself; or him.
7/15/2005 1:02 PM
Searching for the Answers... said…
Thanks so much for your encouragement! I hope we can find a way to increase my passion, as my husband doesn't have the same problem.
7/15/2005 4:54 PM
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Think Happy Thoughts....?

I feel the temptation slowly creeping in AGAIN! I don't believe in divorce, thus despite my current relational problems I must try to make the best with what I have. I know I've been warned in the past to stop thinking outside the box (per say about my marriage). I can't change anyone but myself and need to accept those around me for who they are (ie. G). By the way, he did fix my tire yesterday. I need to focus on the good instead of dwelling on the negative and past. Even though I may not have been of a sane persona when I decided to marry G at the spur of a moment, I think I need to live with my mistake and make the best with what I have. The problem arises, because I am SELFISH, and only looking out for my own selfish desires, not the greater good of humanity. I believe I can choose to work with God's plan or against it, and in the end his plan will reign anyways with or without me. Why in the hell must I have such a strong subconscious? I know my life would be so d...
Read more

Do Soul Mates Really Exist?

Image
I would love to get some other opinions on the topic of soul mates... Do you think they exist? Do we just have one or can we have several? Are you with yours? If so is it happily ever after? Did you loose yours like me? What is your story? Maybe this can provide insight to people out there who feel lost in a sea of love or regret. I've always heard the term "soul mate", but never any real stories about the topic. Please respond in the comments section. Thanks!!!
Read more

What Color Should You Be???

Image
Your Blog Should Be Green Your blog is smart and thoughtful - not a lot of fluff. You enjoy a good discussion, especially if it involves picking apart ideas. However, you tend to get easily annoyed by any thoughtless comments in your blog. What Color Should Your Blog or Journal Be?
Read more