Searching for the Answers...

I realized after reading over my blog that I didn't write about the most amazing, yet challenging aspect of my life. About one month ago G went to a men's breakfast at church where the topic of "fathers and daughters" was discussed. He mentioned some of the information while we were on our way to acupuncture . I absolutely lost it and broke down in tears. I realized I still harbored negative feelings towards my dad for making mistakes during my childhood. I though I had forgiven him, but realized I hadn't, which broke my heart. My acupuncturist mentioned that emotions stored in our bodies actually can manifest as illnesses. Interestingly enough, I developed asthma and allergies about the same time as I began holding resentments against my father. I decided I needed to confront the issue head on and let him know I was sorry for blocking him out of my life and wanted to tell him I forgave him for everything. Due to the complexity of the issue I procrastinated and af...

I've been thinking a lot about marriage lately. It seems my views have changed substantially since I first entered into the " institution " of marriage; from walking down the isle thinking of divorce, to not being able to image the aftermath. Several close friends are going through divorce right now and I can't see anything good about it. I won't deny that G does drive me insane quite frequently, when I imagine how nice it would be to not deal with his crap. However, I hope I never have to face the tragedy of divorce. I think I may have already mentioned this, but I finally forgave my dad for everything he put me through over 15 years ago. In the process I realized that I was also at fault for completely blocking him out of my life. It was literally the most difficult process of my life! I also realized that my parents resent me for moving away. I'm always the one to call my mom, so I began an experiment. I decided to see how long it would take for her to ini...