Searching for the Answers...

I've openly shared my opinion about this topic on numerous occasions and think I owe it to some readers to explain my position, given I seem to have offended more than a few people... Ten years ago I prayed my parents would divorce. I hated my dad with a passion for being an abusive alcoholic who cheated on my mother. I begged her to divorce him so she could find someone who would treat her the way she deserved. I though we would be so much happier without him in our lives. Ten years later I feel ashamed for thinking such things about my family and for wanting my mom to take the easy way out of a commitment she vowed to keep. I have since forgiven my father and slowly see their relationship blossoming. My father no longer drinks and his fling committed suicide several years ago. I am guessing he won't think about an affair again. He has started to open up to the idea of God and even attends church on occasion. Seeing my mom happy makes the years of hell she went through seem li...

I've been to several medical appointments in the last few weeks. I saw an allergist...finally, and learned I'm no longer allergic to some staple foods (yay). Unfortunately, I am allergic to dogs, as I suspected. I have a follow up appointment in two weeks where I will learn more information. I also saw a fertility specialist who started me on fertility treatments. G is also being checked to ensure he isn't "shooting blanks". I am so happy the doctor gave me an alternative to two surgeries I thought I was going to schedule last week. I hope something works...? In one respect I really want a child, yet I am so afraid. The doctor gave me 0 days notice to start on the medication since I was at the correct day of my cycle. I freaked out and completely took it out on G. I said things I now regret and feel terrible. I know I was afraid to take such a huge step when I still feel indifferent about our relationship. I know he feels the same way as I do. He told me he was se...