Searching for the Answers...

For some reason I have been feeling very emotionally unstable the last week. If asked 18 months ago, the feeling would be considered normal, but why now? On Saturday I felt so unsettled and anxious, my body was trembling. I didn't take new medication or change anything other than taking some new herbs. When I feel like this, it usually means trouble, because I think too much and often end up doing something stupid like contacting J. By the way, he IM'ed me last week, just to say he hoped I was doing ok and that he loved Italy. I messaged back saying I was fine. On Thursday, my precious female Maltese was stung by a scorpion (according to the vet). Poor doll, had a lump the size of a golf ball on her rear end that was black and blue. It was so swollen on Saturday that it burst open. Now she has to wear a collar (I found a pink one) and we have to hand feed her so she can eat. It seems to be healing ok, as the wound has healed shut, with a huge scab. On top of that, she is in hea...

I sit here in extreme pain wondering if this is it? Is this how I have to spend the rest of my life? I felt so hopeful after being diagnosed with Hashimoto's Thyroiditis, and getting treatment, however three months later I find myself in the same place with no progress. Here is a pathetic list of symptoms related to Hashimoto's that have gotten worse or not resolved: Less stamina than others Less energy than others Long recovery period after any activity (9 days after tubing 1x on vacation!) Inability to hold children for very long Arms feeling like dead weights after activity Chronic Low Grade Depression Often feeling cold Cold hands and feet High or rising cholesterol Bizarre and Debilitating reaction to exercise Loss of eye lashes Dry Hair Hair Loss Dry cracking skin Requires naps in the afternoon Air Hunger (feeling like you can’t get enough air) Forgetfulness Foggy thinking Inability to lose weight gaining weight Low sex drive PMS Inability to get pregnant; miscarriages E...

Call me naive, ignorant, or in denial, but I decided to drop the issue with G viewing my blog and lying about it. He still insists that he never viewed it. Deep inside I know he did, but it makes life so much easier to overlook his indiscretion . I was reminded of my disposition after watching "He's Just Not that in to You" recently, when the wife decided to work on her marriage after finding out she was being cheated on, but filed for divorce after discovering her husband habitually lied to her about smoking. I guess making a huge issue over something so small makes no sense when we have been together for so long. In addition, G's indiscretion will be no more since I decided to make my blog private. I am bummed because I did have some loyal readers who I was not able to add before I locked down my account. I don't know if it even matters, as I hardly have time to write anymore, nor time to think about what could be boggling my mind. I spent the previous week an...