Searching for the Answers...

After 8 years I finally apologized to my friend for being a terrible friend. I had a disturbing dream about her a few weeks ago, which highlighted how I really perceived her. In high school she became pregnant and told me she wanted to have an abortion. She could not legally have an abortion without her parent's consent , yet she found a doctor to perform the procedure. I begged her to not go through with killing an innocent life and told her she would regret her decision for the rest of her life. Little did I know that I would regret my decision to be what I considered a "good" friend at the time. Because I couldn't change her mind I decided to support her by helping her get the money to pay the doctor and going with her. I will never forget the trauma I experienced when I heard the machine chopping up her innocent child. Afterwards the doctor gave her birth control pills and told her to abstain from sex for at least 2 weeks. Well she met a new guy a few days e...

Although I've been extremely busy the past week, efforts to hopefully improve my health seemed to fall into place. I learned that one of my clients is studying Chinese medicine and acupuncture . She made me an appointment for Saturday for a consultation and acupuncture session. I'm excited, yet a little hesitant since I prefer to avoid needles. She said acupuncture has been proven to increase infertility and help with numerous other health issues such as poor circulation, asthma, and allergies. I also went to the gym for the first time in over a year! Graeme would be so proud that I attended my first yoga session. I'm not so sure about the whole yoga thing yet, but am willing to give it a try. I have a few days left of my "trial" gym membership to decide. I certainly felt a little sore afterwards. I also tried to use the elliptical machine and felt like an old woman. I am so out of shape, I could hardly breathe after only a half mile because of an asthma attack...

First, sorry I haven't written in over a month, if I even have any readers left. I have been wanting to write for some time, but I just don't have the time. I went to my home town for a great 3 week visit! Unfortunately, I came home to the same craziness I wanted to leave behind. I read my last blog earlier today and it made me cry; I wasn't prepared to feel the emotions of everything I am dealing with. I try so hard to keep my health issues to myself, because I don't want to seem like the self absorbent person, who uses illness to gain attention. My blog seems to be my only true release. People always ask me how I am doing or feeling and I give the generic "fine", even though they are probably thinking I look terrible. Every day is such a struggle to get out of bed. I'm so glad I have a job where people rely on me, otherwise I would not get out of bed. I wake up every day feeling like I have a horrible hang over, with every muscle aching (as if I did a st...