Searching for the Answers...

As many of you know, I underwent surgery on Thursday. The doctor let me go home, but I was in unbearable pain and passed out 3 times- every time I tried to get up. G called the on-call nurse and she told him to bring me into the doctor. I went to the doctor's office on Friday morning and he reviewed the results with us, then sent me to the ER. They did CT scans and an EKG to rule out blood clots or major complications. They couldn't find anything but gave me stronger pain medication and fluids. I returned home from the hospital yesterday at 7 pm. My doctor said I have severe endometriosis that invaded all of my reproductive organs. He mentioned the severity has been causing my infertility. He removed as much as he could, but could not access the portions growing inside of my organs. He said the surgery will not be effective for more than 1-2 months because it will grow back to the same level in only 1-2 months. My only other option was to take the drug that puts me into a state...

Only a few more days until my big surgery. I'm not able to think about it due the the immeasurable pain I've been in the last few days. I can't take ANY medication before my surgery and just started my period yesterday. In over a decade I have never made it through my period without heavy medications and now I have nothing! Even with my regular medications, the pain is unbearable. It seems that the cramps the week before I started this time were the same intensity as a normal period, and the first three days I usually can't even get out of bed. Last night I went to bed early in tears with a massive migraine and so much abdominal pain. I feel as if someone has a mixer on high, with knives attached and is ripping apart my insides, not to mention it feels like some one kicked me 15 times in my lower back. I am essentially living breath to breath right now. I can't wait until I can wake up from my surgery heavily medicated so I don't feel the pain anymore. The only...

I just realized my last post was #200! I've written quite a bit in a little over two years and have grown so much. I can't believe how much I've moved forward to a happier place. Blogging has definitely played a huge role in my development. I have a lot of news since my last post. We returned from our mini vacation on Saturday. We had so much fun! Sadly, my sister left this morning, but I will be home in about 5 weeks. I thought being so close to J would be difficult, but didn't think about him very much. I occasionally looked for him at the different beaches and thought about what he might be doing, but it wasn't an overwhelming feeling. I did envy his job to no end. As I love sea animals and couldn't imagine being a dolphin trainer. Someday I would love to just touch one. I feel confident in my decision to stay with G. J assumes a life different than I ever imagined for myself. Although, I assume it would be much different if we ended up together. The above p...